Good question Amy!  I really understand your hesitation to try different things.  The thought of a pouch coming off or leaking at an inconvenient time has stopped me cold many .  My biggest fears were vacuuming, weeding my gardens and going out in public and esp. to church and swimming/hot tub. Gardening is no issues with my pouch. 

My 1st experience in Church was not fun. My stoma was very loud & vocal almost all the way through the service. The 3 plus year old boy in front of me kept turning around looking at me. After the service,  the youngster now pointing at me & says loudly " see Mom, that's the lady who. "FaaawTED IN chuCch!"  I thought I'd covered Rose, my stoma, enough to pretty much mute her, Not so!  His horrified Mom was standing in front of me & apologized sincerely for her son's claim. I decided that enough folks around us had heard the little boys announcement so, I was going to fess up!  I told her I was still adjusting to a new Stoma & my guts had no control over gasses noise, I told her it didn't stink bcuz the air was in my ostomy pouch, hiding behind my sweater.  In Church it was behind my sweater, my purse & the hymnal. The child had good ears! I suggested she Google "ostomy," that it might help her explain to her son why I was so good at "fawting, she chuckled.  She seemed to understand, whether she googled or not...? Lol! 

Once I was able to afford the M9 LIQUID DEODERANT,   I go out to wherever I please bcuz it works so well for me. It seems to neutralize the gas as well. Fortunatly after some time, my guts settled down from the surgeries & now gas is only if I've eaten something to cause it, or I'm  coming down with some tummy bug.

 I lift a small child all the time. Its not the lifting to be cautious of,  it's putting them down.  Try to avoid letting them slip over your pouch & stoma.  You can injure your stoma.   Bend your knees to pick up & put down,  giving room away from your pouch. Practice with a bag of flour or sugar or ice. I've never had a pouch leak or come off from holding or lifting a child. My Grand is five, weighs just over 40 pounds & holding. I can still lift & hold her.

Gwen was 6 months when I started looking after her while her parents worked.  I didn't know what to do with her when I needed an unplanned pouch change. It happened soon enough!  I ended up putting her in the clean bathtub lined with a thick blanket & I  gave her some toys.  While sitting on the blanket,  she could see me & I could see her. She was safe & content & learned slowly about my stoma.

Speaking of children.  You can call Hollister or Coloplast and ask about their "Buddy Dolls,"  program.  At no cost, I was sent a buddy doll with a stoma & a small plastic pouch over it, wearing a dress.  The hair needed work, so I added a bright pink braid.  But,  that doll has helped even adults understand the stoma issue. 

I take a long hot baths the night of a pouch change & I have gone in a hot tub but timed my 10 min. stay. Once outside, I quickly dried up with no harm to my pouch. No opportunity to swim as of yet. 

Hi Amy,

I have eaten a small salad many times with no trouble, but have not tried a fullsize or big one. For me, what works works well is to just try a little of the food or activity, to start, and see how that works. We all have to keep our stomas happy - I have learned to not eat a lot of artichoke dip (!), that M9 drops are my friend, to write the day of the week on my flange with permanent marker so I know how many days I’ve had it, and lots of things these past seven years. 

As a precaution I don’t lift heavy things, but I have held babies and small children. I don’t want to get a hernia and generally avoid rearranging furniture (which I used to really like to do).

You have been trying to find ostomates of your own age. That’s probably not easy. I was really wishing to find friends when my stoma was newer - I have now met a few people, but they look to be older (like me) and we don’t really socialize. VeganOstomy has been such a wonderful resource and great company.

LL

Scared to go out sometimes in case I leak

Amy, I fogot the salad thing. My guts are fussy! After my stoma, I missed salads fiercely & fresh veggies & dip.  Some things I've learned... Ceasars salads, I can eat them in smaller amounts enjoying the crispier ends down to the first 4 inches up from the flat base.  I loved the greens, but they caused issues being thinner & my new tweth could not break them down. So I went for the center pieces near the core, that are also thicker & more crispy.  I cut pieces into 1/4" size strips & on my plate, I cut them smaller from there.  I love extra sauce or dressing on them. 

Several times a week, my dinner is a piece of fish of some kind, mostly salmon or sole, if I'm feeling rich, shrimp.  Veggies are steamed to fork tender. A knife will go thru anything & I don't want mushy veggies.  Green veggies or carrots, cauliflower & even asparagus are cut crosswise from the stem,  cutting off the coarse green around a brocolli stem if it's woody.   I cut in 1/4" pieces/circles again & smaller if not tender enough. But I cook in 3 inch pieces approx.  Asparagus, same thing but in circles after cooking, not on an angle.  The longer the fibres in my foods, the bigger chance of a blockage or a few days of nasty gut pains.  I often have half a regular dinner & bcuz I can usually avoid blockages eating this way, the other half of my meal is a salad of some sort, mostly I'll  make couscous & have a Greek salad over it.   But the typical Greek salad has large unpeeled pieces cut about 1/2" thick.  Not good, as again this caused gut issues.  So I take the time to peel cucumbers & red peppers. Then cut the kalamatta olives in half lengthwise & then in 3 to, depending on size, 5 pieces. Adding the Feta cheese under olives if your on the picky side of order like I find I am, lol.  I avoid the thin leafy more green salads mostly bcuz my guts just do not digest them well at all. 

If you're wanting to try new foods, which is good, AND, I still do this...I learned so much from Eric's videos & to date some things I still put into practice...

** keep a separate food journal, esp. as you're starting out. Write down what & how much approx. that you've eaten , transit time & how your guts responded to the new foods. Also, watch your output for evidence of what is not digesting well. 

**Put your fork down between bites, (another Eric Tip!) of foods in order to make & take the time to chew very well.  You can still enjoy foods you ate before your colostomy,  but something like nuts, I chew down to a literal powder. No chunks at all. Same goes for all foods going thru my digestive track. Lol, make like a train & chew, chew chewwww... ! Okay , that was sappy, but you get the point. 

** Everything in moderation was key to my  learning to enjoy foods and eating healthy again without feeling deprived. 

**POPCORN... I eat this about 3 or 4 times a week depending on my guts.  I bought a small/Med size pot wirh a lid that allows steam to drip back into the pot. Something you can safely make a can of Campbells soup in. 4 to 6 cup size. I make my own & avoid microwave popcorn.  I just like it better & I can control 🗑 waste better. Both Eric & I make homemade 🍿popcorn, so, we can tell you how if you've never made in a pot before.  I'm sure there's YouTube videos on it too.  I missed it terribly the first 5 years & I was still getting blockages like crazy. So I decided to throw caution to the wind & I was going to eat popcorn in rebellion to blockages. I first popped 1 TBSP. of seeds, and thoroughly enjoyed that . If you know how to make brown butter after popping the corn in the same pot, it's a great way to add more flavour. I can now pop 1/4 cup of seeds minus about 1 tbsp. of seeds.   I find popping in oil allows the shells of the corn to become crisper & they break into tiny pieces easier.  I was so scared of eating my first  popcorn that I spit the remaining kernels into a napkin, lol!  Eventually I've become braver & I've had no issues with enjoying popcorn! 

Start with small amounts on most anything new you try & just remember to chew well. 

@chelly ... thats really no way to live, but I think it's a very common fear, especially in the first year or two.  Its important to have a "go bag" ready.  I have a separate bag I use & it has all i need including a trash bag in it with a change of clothing.  I've had several leaks while in the car & one grocery shopping.  

I usually wear or carry a light sweater around to fold over my arm & hide a leak. I also know where every single washroom is on my trip out.  I live in a small town so I've spoken to store managers ahead of time, especially those who have a "staff only" washroom policy. I manager "name drop" to staff, "sharon said I can use the,washroom due to my ileostomy, when you have a second can you please let me in the washroom?" I also bring a small spray bottle, from the travel section in the pharmacy,  of my favorite Disinfectant along, in my go bag & I promise to leave the washroom cleaner then I find it. On one occasion a staff member refused to let me use the washroom with a suddenly full pouch.  Desperate times called for desperate measures, I lifted my shirt, lowered my pants a bit on the side of my pouch &  I said, "that's fine, but it'll fall off if I'm not able to empty my pouch, so, I'll just wait here until you change your mind or you'll have a huge mess to clean up!"   He moved very quickly for the key & told me to follow him! Lol!  I also carry my own roll of tissue along as that single ply stuff is awful.

There are many tips to be said that can be talked about to be prepared for a leak event.   If you need further help just ask.  Also, I THINK Eric may have a video or there's a forum on this topic too.  M9 is the key to odor issues even with a leak,  especially if you feel like you may be  stinky.   But using too much M9,  on my lazy days of not wanting to count drops, have been a different odor issue for me as well, so I most always count drops. 

In the beginning, I'd say that I was overly cautious about everything. Worried that things would hit my stoma. Worried about how food would affect my output. Worried about leaks. Etc.

Not that I should have been reckless, and I'm glad that I was cautious, but I also like to push the limits to see where I could go. So, in that sense, I didn't create limitations for myself.

Now, most things don't worry me too much (because I have the experience), but I do still plan areas of my day around having access to toilets, when/how much I eat, whether I should change my appliance before an event or occasion, etc.

Posted by: @arichards159

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I'll go first. I've been to scared to try running, eating salads, lifting up children, and going to amusement parks (i.e., rollercoasters).

I can cross those off my list, but I personally don't run because I get a lot of pain in my feet/ankles, so I cycle 🤗

Posted by: @dlkfiretruck

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Both Eric & I make homemade 🍿popcorn, so, we can tell you how if you've never made in a pot before.

Funny you should mention that!

Just the other day, I noticed that my air popcorn maker wasn't really pushing popped kernels out very well. So, I decided to pop them in my stainless steel wok (with a lid). Oh, my word, do they come out so tasty! And I'm just using canola oil! Coconut would be even better.

Posted by: @chelly

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Scared to go out sometimes in case I leak

Sometimes our fears don't match our reality. I know you're going through a tough time at this moment, but I hope you build on successes, each day at a time, until your fears eventually fade away. 👍 

Posted by: @llholiday

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I have eaten a small salad many times with no trouble, but have not tried a fullsize or big one.

With local produce in abundance, including some local farmer's markets and stands, my wife and I can't eat salad fast enough! LOL Our dinners are basically one large salad with "the works" 🤣 

Interestingly enough, for many years after my surgery, I remember my output being such that I could basically identify the foods I ate, even when chewing really well. These days, it all looks the same coming out. Not sure if my gut just got "better" at adapting, but it's something I've noticed, and it gives me more confidence when eating these foods.

@chelly It can be so scary to go out when leaks could happen.

I have some Hollister barrier strips that I use occasionally to extend the coverage beyond the plate. They are expensive so I use them very sparingly.  They are great - however, the only significant/noticeable leak I had in public was where my two-piece separated at the bottom. I had been sitting on a folding chair for about an hour listening to a speaker. When I went to use the bathroom I discovered that it leaked down to where I sit - there were 3-4 quarter-sized spots, and I was wearing white pants. I could only head for the exit, leave right away, and then go on with life. It wasn’t easy. VO helped me feel better.

Now I wear very long shirts with those pants (because I love white pants). 

And just thought of something: maybe I will start carrying a long shirt (like a denim shirt) with me. If anybody asked the reason I could say it’s for in case I feel cold.

@veganostomy I used to love hot air popcorn poppers until after I made a big bowl for my kids & their friends for a movie night... at the bottom of the bowl were many small white worms.   I can hardly even say that! Ugh! 

I never used it again. 

I always make it in a pot now, it takes me back to my childhood where of the 5 of us kids, I was always the one who popped the corn almost nightly.  That was our treat,  as bagged potatoes chips, cherries & such, lol, nachos hadn't been born yet, lol, those bagged treats were rarely afforded.  

Amy, they make those C shaped tapes, which I too use, only they are covered for cost in B.C. 🇨🇦.  

They come in two sizes...

Coloplast Elastic Barrier Tapes. 

small, ref. #12070 you need 2 per pouch, when on your tummy give an extra 1/4" or more of taped on security. They are soft & stretchy.  I ALWAYS use them. They give me time to discover a leak before it gets to my clothing. 

Extra Large ref# 12076 If I remember right it takes 3 per pouch. 

Once your barfier or pouch is on, You place them partly on the barrier you can feel thru the beige tape and the rest on your skin. 

I have had no skin trouble using them continually, other then as new skin grows, bcuz we shed skin cells all the time, I have has a little dryness around the edge at the start of using them, but I find just a little good hand lotion around the edge helps heal the dryness and does not affect the hold at all. 

You can call and ask for samples of both sizes.  I found the bigger size was too hard on my skin. 

We talked about pancaking at one point, I use...

Adapt Lubricating Deoderant for that *slip:& slide* inside the pouch motion for output.

Lot # 7E160.

I use half a tube envelope at a time and I  smooth it up around the stoma area. Its very helpful !  

Hey... if you're reading along, even if your fear is a repeat,  share it anyways if you have time.  There is Strength & Courage in numbers.... 

@llholiday yes, it's keeping me from eating if i know i have to go out and I make any trip I take any where super fast. In and out, back home quick where I feel safe. I'm at my surgeon appt now and I did not eat today because I can't afford to be blowing out. I also took Imodium. I get diarrhea a lot. 

I had a blow out before I a Walgreens drugstore. I left a whole cart and thankfully I had a towel in my car to help contain things. 

Then when I first got my bag, stoma nurse put a 2 piece on me and same thing as you.....I say in the car to go home and it popped off. I was going to go to the store and that's when I noticed it was when I got up from my cat seat. I was a new ostomate so I called the nurse crying my eyeballs out and she had me come back and fixed me back up.. again thankful for those towels but I'm trying to think back....I had to go up to the third floor of the building with that blow out and for the life of me I can't remember that part or how concealed everything. I am allergic to coloplast brava strip but my convatec pouch already has a tape collar that usually holds thing. The times of the blow out one was a Hollister and the other was a flat bag but I had my hernia forming and it got under the base plate and then blew off somehow. Now, it's the way the stoma and area around it turned out after the surgery. As for M9 I used to use it religiously but I cannot afford it any longer so I use nothing. I found it does not smell that bad. Only once in a great while it will. I've smelled way worse real output. But when you have a bag on and you've already gone in it 13 times and rinsed ect....the bag itself starts to smell and the barrier ring gets all melty, leaky and jacked up..it's that i already know I smell and I worry others will too of I go near them. I'm not really wanting to go out

I'm.afraid to try anything like weight training due to hernias and I'd be afraid to try Bungie jumping or riding a dirt bike due to possible injury . There are so many things to think about to protect this thing. In the end it beats being sick like most of us were prior to getting an ostomy. Even with my current issues I'm facing it's still better than before the ostomy 

Learning lots, thanks so much for the shares all! I have now tried popcorn b/c I was terrified and wanred against doing so, but you all gave me courage. 

Also tried some greens -- gettin closer to salad status :) 

I know leaks and blowouts are a challenge for many. What I would say is don't give up trying new products. It's an annoyance for sure but you should NOT be living a compromised and isolated life. there is a solution and option for whatever your issue. keep experimenting, ask us all questions, and don't give up!

@arichards159 ...Yay Amy!  You tried popcorn & some salad greens!! 🍿! Way to go!  Its such a yummy little treat & so satisfying! I hope it didn't bother you at all & that you'll keep experimenting with other foods on the no-no list!  Remember too, that how you cut fibrous foods including meat, matters as well.

Oh, Amy, for 🍅 tomatoes, I cut an X in the bottem & put them in a bowl safe for hot water use & I pour boiling water over them. Leave them sit about 1 1/2 min. each side, then remove,  cool or hold the tomatoe in your hand on a folded papertowel if too 🔥 hot & with a knife pull off the skin.  Sometimes I de-seed them, but it depends on what i eat with them, core it & cut in 1/2" approx. sizes,  enjoying it on a salad or even in a BLT sandwich, even if it means changing the lettuce you use in a salad, or use 🥒  cucumber,  oo radish or canned chestnut slices for crunch. I have bands of scar tissue around my intestine, so the fibers & skins can be a blockage danger.  Slipping up once on long fibres can put me in the hospital for a week! So get yourself a couple of cheap but really sharp serrated  paring knives from the $$ store to help at a meal.  You can laugh, but I've been known to take one in my purse to a restaurant, lol, not that I've  broken any law, (other then being too long winded here, lol, I'm still sorry Eric, lol) , but, I may have to explain the knife to the cops if I ever got searched! Lol! 

I still remember looking at that list and thinking I'd die without raw veggies & dried fruits in my life,  even for as good as my teeth chewed foods

to a powder, I was told not to eat them! Ugh! So frustrating!  Maybe I should have been a goat, 🐐.   Yet when you think of it, it all comes down to how well we chew & the Way we  cut foods.  We still need the vitamins & minerals we get from them. 

Amy, if you like, I look forward to further reports on foods you try & how it goes. If you need ideas, just ask.  I'm sure this will help to encorage other newbies. I find VO to be the best of a whole other community of people I know I'm glad to call my ostomy friends! Osto'buddies... lol 

Last Friday on my Grand-D's class field trip to the beach, my 1st beach trip since my ostomy,  I think I did pretty good. However, I would have preferred to empty my pouch once in the 4 hours there. There wasn't much in it as I hadn't eaten, but I was very aware of it, even with my long shirt disguising it, so it would've been precautionary, but the stupid thing that stopped me was having no M9 along! I knew my pouch was secure, but even my 5 yr.  Grand scolded me!! She calls me "Munga!" Her words were, "well MUNGA!, that was silly of you not to pack the M9 when you brought an extra towel for me,  🙄 😜 , bcuz Munga, you know you have to take your Rose with you everywhere you go anyways, you can't just leave her home, so maybe do better next time."  This is a  child living with 4 people, who all ❤️  her very much, all  over 18,  I'm telling you, she knowwwws things!  👀 !  So later on, I reloaded all my go bag ostomy supplies & made sure M9 is on board! I'm so thankful for those sample size bottles that I've kept  refilled so often! 

I'm glad your here Amy!! Thank you all for being my safe place ostomy community of friends. 🫂 hugs to all. 

Posted by: @arichards159

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I have now tried popcorn b/c I was terrified and wanred against doing so, but you all gave me courage. 

That's great to hear! 

For salad, start with "easy" stuff like iceberg, red/green leaf lettuce, and then move onto things like romaine, kale, etc. Vegetables will need some experimentation. Some people peel and de-seed them, others leave everything intact and just slice them up.

Start with a smaller amount, chew well, and see how it passes through. Then, adjust or increase the volume as you feel comfortable. 

I’m scared to eat corn, anything gummy, and most fruits and veggies with peels (I always peel them).  I overcame my hot tub fear recently with quick soaks in the hot tub at the beach condo we rented. And the fear I can’t overcome is wearing jeans. I wore them once and had a major blowout so I’m scared to try again. They just don’t give my bag room to fill up and with an ileostomy, that is important. 

Posted by: @squeakyandliza

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They just don’t give my bag room to fill up and with an ileostomy, that is important. 

Yup. I've basically just accepted that I won't be wearing my bag under my pants, and that's that. I find that even if I could get them under my pants, it's only for a very limited time.

The exception would be loose shorts, but even then, it's just more comfortable having the bag on the outside.

@veganostomy  do you just let it hang free with a Cover outside the pants or do you use stealth belt type.

@chelly Depends on what I'm doing. Most of these days I use a product that is no longer available (was given as a sample, then the company went under). It hooks onto your pant waistband or belt, and has a pocket for your bag to rest in. This keeps the weight off the wafer, and offers come concealment.

When I'm on the bike, I pretty much always wear a Stealthbelt, but I wish I had a cooler (temperature) option, since it can get really sweaty under the belt after a few hours of riding.

If I were still using a 2pc, I'd probably still use pouch covers. They don't work as well with 1pc appliances, so I stopped putting them on.

My bags are clear, and if they have a cloth cover, I rip that off. 🤣 So, I do need to cover it with something, and these accessories help a lot.

@veganostomy that pocket contraption sounds great!!! I bet someone with sewing experience and getting the right breathable material could make them. 

They have me in a 2 piece now and I'm.not really fond of it. It has a tab closure and not a clip so I feel like things are smelly. Not only that is the output seems to pool up in the deep hole where the bag connects to the wafer. It's a convatec natura. I don't know but I feel smells are escaping and I hope somehow I can get out into a one piece again. 

What made you change from a 2 piece to a one piece? Just curious. I hope to get back into my activelife one piece again.

I'm a fan of clear bags too. I need to see what's going on in there. 

@veganostomy - WOW I just tried to create my own pockets to go on my pants/underwear. can you send a picture of what you have for a model? this is precisely what I am trying to find. the undeerwear that have pockets in them don't work for me and I feel my bag is constantly heavy. belts slips off my hips with the placement of my stoma.