Hey Amy,

One thing that came to mind is perhaps checking out https://www.meetanostomate.org.

I'm not sure if they allow for free accounts to search for other members by age, but I remember way back being able to find people with specific criteria (location, age, gender, etc.).

That might be one option.

And echoing my other post, if you have an ostomy due to IBD, you'll likely find younger ostomates in the IBD community! When I do the charity walk, I try to talk to as many people as I can, and the vast majority are younger people, and many have ostomies.

Another suggestion might also be to connect with your local ostomy group to ask if they ever have any "under 30" events. If not, that might be an idea to try!

Hello Amy... I was thinking about your post the other day and I'm wondering how your search for younger ostimates has been going for you??  I know some of us seem older here at VO, but we were all younger once and still are in heart & spirit! Lol!  Many may have started out young with a stoma & successfully aged right along with it. 

I was wondering if you have given your stoma a name & if you what did you choose?  I found naming mine helped me connect with it better. I know that before I found Eric's site here at VO, that I felt very alone in the world  & I even had issues going out in public with my new stoma and pouch.  I'm 67 & that was a good 16 years ago now. Even as a Gramma with 7 Grandkids, I still feel very young age wise, with the exception of those days I'm battling vitamin deficiencies making me feel about 1000 years older, lol! 

There are lots of us here who would be glad to help you thru any issues you may have or if you just need a female friend to chat with about girl stuff. We have lots of ladies here from all walks of life, so don't be afraid to reach out & ask anything you may need help with or just want to chat about,  clothes or hair, sex even. Our ostomies affect all of that too. 

Anyways, you take care & please know we are here and us ladies have all been where you are now.  Have a great day! 

Linda

Hi Amy, unfortunately I am in the 50+ category, but I am in the Girls With Guts Facebook group and there are several younger women in that group. Maybe give them a try!!  You are welcome to hang with us, but I understand there are probably things you want to talk about with someone closer to your age. Welcome!

Hey, Amy... there's also a group called...

MeetAnOstoMate

MeetAnOstoMate.org

There's lots of younger people there in the same boat..   

@dlkfiretruck Meet an Ostomate is now a pay-to-join site only. It also frequently gets bogged down in political issues that have nothing to do with being an Ostomate, and people can get quite disrespectful at times. I left that site several years ago for that reason. FYI.

 Laurie 

@tigerlily... I'm sorry, my bad. I did forget to mention HERE, that it was a pay to join site.  $49.99 ** twice **  if you want the full "benefit." Ugh!    I did however find a way to get around it just a tiny little bit,  and I have been trying to poach people from there to come here to check out our VO too. I guess I'm a wee bit naughty...    

What I do is scroll down and find those who have posted pictures & then I leave a comment/s about their pics.  I tell them that there's no way I can pay to become a member, which is very true,  so if they want to chat, they have to start the conversation on my name. 

Then while I'm there, I also explain that I've been on VO and how you don't have to be a vegan to join & you don't have to pay a cent to talk to others either and get feed back. I mention how valuable Eric's videos are to me & all the free information on them from all the work he puts into this free site

 Then somwtimes, I go back to their other pictures & comment on those as well.... Ofcourse I'm always very sincere & interested to hear how they became an ostomate too & I tell them I'd love to hear their story, which is all true, whether here or there or anywhere.   Maybe I need to get out more, I don't know,  lol .... but it's been interesting talking to some of the people, esp. those just wanting a lounge area for good old  conversation...  I'm in no way interested in dating.  Honestly, I don't think I'll ever be again.  I think it may be a dating site to some extent. Am I wrong? There seems to be a lot of people looking to talk to a choice species, but many just to chat weather, bird watching, gardening, life with a stoma & so on. 

Several have told me they'll come and check out VO here too as I've heard from each I've messaged . I think its horrible that they charge 100 bucks to join, sorry, for those of you that aren't aware, but, we pay with young deer here in Canada, lol, kidding ofcourse.   I know that what Eric does here is very invaluable, thank you again Eric, but I just think it's crazy to be charged to be able to talk to other ostomates there and to have to pay more to get the "full benefit" of the site. I much prefer to donate to our Eric & I try to do so with the link when I pay for something on  Amazon & when I can, I've donated a bit extra here to

I think I'd have been very depressed if I wasn't allowed to talk to other ostomates on this journey, esp. at the time I joined. I have told that to several there as well in emails.  That site even blocks you from starting  a regular message.  I think its terrible in several ways, and my full on loyalty is here with you all ! 

VO has been very helpful to me in so many ways and then to be a part of something as special as VO, so immeasurable.....  Thank YOU again ERIC!  I know It costs you time, energy & equipment and know how, so please understand that my greatest appreciation is for you & for what you do here.  I appreciate all of you, So very much too.

@dlkfiretruck 💯percent with you on that Linda!! And good for you for being a “wee bit naughty”! “Make good trouble “ is a motto I am identifying with more and more the older I get.

Amy, is there an ostomy support group in your area? Your ostomy nurse would know that. A support group is so important, especially early on. 

Laurie

as an update, I am still struggling but have just caved into joining social media - namely Facebook and Instagram and Tik Tok to locate others. that's where all the kids gather these days I guess :) 

I will also be attending the UOAA conference so that is my greatest hope for connection. 

Yes, I've been disappointed with the firewall and operation of MeetAnOstomate so I've let that go too after lots of searching within the parameters of the free offerings. Thanks all for the guidance and help! This sight has been such a source of community, hope, abundance, and goodness.

Eric (@VeganOstomy), you have set an ideal tone and I don't take that lightly. Thank you!

@arichards159 ... Hello Amy !  Its so good to see you popping in here!  I really mean that!  I was starting to worry.  We had a young man some time ago who ended his life bcuz of having an ostomy.  He found it unbearable, 😢 , Life is so worth living with or without one!  I do, so very much hope you agree.  I believe in God and in the power of prayer, no preaching from me unless you ask, lol, and I'm not much of a  preacher so ... lol!  Amy, just please know, and if you don't mind, I will pray that you find the best friends for you as you need &  continue on this journey. I think you are a very smart, positive young lady, with a lot to offer in this new path set before you.   You bring a good point up, the age group & finding the majority to be seniors. Obviously we could use your experiences for other youngsters, lol, here too. I sound like my Dad saying youngsters! Yikes! Lol! 

Thank you for your update too. As a Gramma, I can say that I am so proud of you for doing your best to find others your age.  I want to say, shame on that site for making money from patients in this way. I will continue  to try & poach others from it in my own innocent way! Hehehe..  lol! 

Please Amy,  come back & keep us in the loop on your journey.  I would be very interested in how you are doing in the ostomy acceptance department and even in the  friends and possibly matters of a heart mate as well.  I mean, who doesn't love a good love story.....?! 

If you'd like to,  feel free to tell us your story & how you ended up with a new beginning. When I first found VO, I was so amazed at what people talked about & so openly.  It took me some time to accept that it was okay to even talk about my situation & to feel like I could even take part in a forum. Most of that is bcuz of my upbringing,  as in private matters were never discussed!!  This is a good sight & I agree, Eric, has done so much work to bring the community of ostomates to those of us who need it & for those that don't, please,  stay anyways. There is always some one to encourage  or just to chat with.  We are good people living our best life as good as we know how.  I didn't know I needed this community until I stumbled across it.  

Hey, Amy, what do you do in your spare time?  Have you named your stoma? Do you do a craft or sport, are you artistic, do you teach, maybe, garden.... ? I won't ask again & please don't feel pressured to answer those questions.  I think that's the mystery writer in me struggling badly to get out! Lol! I'm more of a poet... lol!   

THANK YOU ALL! Have a great Sunday! 

I appreciate the questions and invitation @LK 😍 

I'm doing really well! The gap in young folks continues to be present tho less pressing, but I'm finally recovering strength and getting back to life. I'd share some photos to prove it but I don't think we can do that here. I hiked yesterday and just made some fresh bread!!

I came by my ostomy due to the underlying condition of Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. That just means I have extra stretchy tissues, organs included, and my bones move out of place easily. I have had severe constipation since being a baby and over time my colon just stretched and knotted, stretched and knotted. And my ribs and hips partially dislocated in ways that obstructed the colonic path further. I had compromised motility and endless pain. You get the sob story.

By the end of last year, I couldn't put anything more in me because nothing would come out of me, food wise. So I made the hard choice to do the loop ileostomy because we weren't sure if an ostomy would work well given my condition and high likelihood of complications, especially herniation/prolapse. We also weren't sure how damaged my small intestine was as well. It is damaged but the loop ileo is working for now. Eventually I'll need a colectomy and end ileo, but hoping to keep the rectum at least. These days my biggest challenge is regaining strength (lost about 30lbs) just before and post surgery, and getting mucus out of my bum (b/c the colon is still obstructed including just above the rectum). Anyways, probably way too much but I'm an open book. Here is also my intro post: https://www.veganostomy.ca/community/introductions/hi-im-amy/#post-28105

But truly I have nothing but praise for God through all of this. It is by His strength, mercy, and peace beyond understanding alone that I made it through what I have. I know many don't have this source to rely on in their lives, and I did not always. But I truly believe going through this multi-decade nightmare may have all been so I could find Him again (since He never lost me) and share His wisdom and goodness with others. If I can walk by the side of any others as they go through the challenges of life, I can't say right now that all of this will have been worth it, but I trust I might get to that attitude in time. Thank you all for doing that for me.

Posted by: @arichards159

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I will also be attending the UOAA conference so that is my greatest hope for connection. 

You'll have fun! And I'm sure you'll meet lots of wonderful people, there! 

Best of luck on your journey. I'd love to hear an update in the future on whether social media helped. 👍 

have you looked on Utube? i've seen a couple with people in their 20's maybe.  i'm sure if you click on a couple , more and more will show up.  id try tik tok as well.  UOAA site for young adults has been pretty dead for years.  

i tried to find athletic people years ago but had basically no luck. i found a guy that surfs, but he was busy surfin and not hanging out on the internet much.  my main interest was looking to find low profile bags that could put up with strenuous activities.   for me the colostomy has nothing to do with who I am and what I do.    id say,  look for people who you have fun things in common with and ignor your bag as much as posssible.   last thing i want do to is sit around and talk about it all the time.   i do admit the ileostomys do have more difficulties to deal with as ive seen here.

@arichards159 Hello, I just got a chance to read your story here and I think you made the right choice to get the ostomy. I too was constipated and could not go and did the very same thing in trying out a loop ostomy first. While having the loop they determined in a colonoscopy that my colon was just not working so I opted for a total proctocolectomy which is the end ileostomy , removing my colon and my rectum. I just knew I did not want to go back the other way with my colon not working. All the pain and laxatives..I'm sure you get that. 

I hope you can find a group of young people with ostomies. Keep us posted.