Hi Linda Welcome to the group sounds like we joined about the same time .

How long have you had your stoma?  

Do you have support at home?

Linda

My colostomy (aka Rosebud) came into being on April 1, 2014 as a result of Rectal Cancer.  She is a feisty little thing, but she and I are learning together.  She LOVES bananas and peanut butter, so I try to give her those on a regular basis.  (Makes my stool thicker.)  My support is my local ostomy support group and they have been a true blessing to me!!!  Talk to your ostomy nurse or surgeon's office people and see if there is a group near you.  We talk about EVERYTHING and trade tips and advice.  My husband has been a HUGE support to me and (bless his heart), he has cleaned up many messes (blow-outs in the middle of the night) without complaining.  Fortunately, the blow-outs are very few and very far between anymore since Rosebud and I have learned to work together.

Stay in frequent contact with Vegan Ostomy, Linda.  You'll get advice and tips you never would think would work -- but they will!!!  Eric has created a TERRIFIC web site here and the more often you visit, the better you and your ostomy will get along.  Blessings to you!!!!  And good health!!!!!

Hi Linda . I have had my stoma 13 months now . Glad I joined Eric's forum I have learned a lot here and I know I still have a lot more to learn . But its also nice to just talk to others who have the same or basically the same issues .

Hi Linda, Support at home is wonderful-but u have to learn so much by yourself also.  YOU know if things fit or not-Keep reading us, in every direction and you will be amaized how it will all come together.. And a perfect fit!! My best to you-- Remember a healthy mind is a healthy body.. We r  here to proved you with a healthy mind with ease.. 

I have actually had my ostomy for just over 8 years.  What you say???

The thing is, my hubby died from  pancreatic cancer five weeks after...so he really never got to see my enjoy food without pain.  I was still healing from 8 other surgeries when he was diagnosed.   Very few people I talked to understood what I was going thru and the exhaustion that came with it. Oh, the exhaustion! This summer, was the first time I let  friends  know about Rose and I , pretty much had to explain the burst of  vocal gas.  I was  still grieving the loss of an outstanding man in my life and found that very hard to deal with.  The stoma thing was a welcome  surgery in my life and when I stumbled across Erics sight, I just about fell over.  I have had not one person who understood or new what I was talking about, or going thru as many do not know what to say.  I learned to pack a change of clothes if I went out for a day...just in case....and figured out rather quickly what it was that I need to do in order to survive this  lone journey.  I so appreciate you all mentioning  welcomes to me...even this far down the road, I still deal with a feeling of  unsure...about life in general.

About how to deal with the three hospital stays over two long weekends this summer  plus another stay,  and having to cancel plans...the norm it seems at this point  when a blockage happens.  I have to go thru a CT scan to see if there is more narrowing happening...I hate drinking guk in order to have those tests.  My tummy has been so sore that I have not been able to clean up my garden  for winter yet.  It was a fabulous  distraction from my life all summer and ofcourse...zuchinni...the gift that keeps on giving, and giving and giving. Next year one plant, not two.

Does anyone else deal with such pathetic fatigue that even taking the dog out is a major event in the day?  I have learned so much from Erics sight and so aprecite the way he talks so openly about things such as sex even.  That was a great video and the ladies who joined him...bless there hearts as I was terrified to think if this should ever  come up in my life again...and now I know how to handle it.  Packing for a holiday...no one wants to take a widow along anywhere not even out for dinner it seems, I could still pay for myself, but they just do not seem to think about  the fifth new wheel in the crowd.  My son is amazing and I so appreciate it when he runs to the store for me and my pharmacycist delivers prescriptions and supplies to the house for me and others as well.   I was thrilled to learn that!

I think I have a daughter out there somewhere....hmmm?  At any rate learning by myself has not been bad, but rather good as I figured out so much of what Eric talks about and look forward to anything he has to say. But then it has been 8 years so I guess I should know a thing or two.  Getting a reply to my note stunned me.  I have not yet met another ostimate until now. Thank you all so very much for the true meaning of support.

I truly appreciate  the replys and Erics  work.

Linda

Linda . Wow 8 years that seems like a long time to me as I have only had mine 13 months . I am sure there are things you will be able to help us out with too it can go both ways . Only time I have met any ostomates was when I went to a local support group . If I have met them elsewhere I wasn't aware of it . John had a good idea about a small pin I think that is a good idea . Sounds like you have been thru a lot you will meet some nice helpful people here . I know I have .

Evening Linda, Your husband would be so proud of you, Yep getting tried and worn out is part of the journey. Not only having an illness but the loss of a life partner is major. Getting all yer thoughts and feelings out is some thing you can do here, no one will judge only listen and offer support. like you I enjoy gardening and agreed the wards are brilliant. Keep posting you can talk about any thing here from having a bad day to yer favourite sandwich!!!!!!

Hello again, Linda.

Thank you for posting more of your story. It really helps all of us to understand each other better and the trials we have endured.  They are all different yet the same .Your story seems especially harsh with the loss of your husband. I am so sorry.

I don't know what I would have done without that kind of love and support. There is noting quite so intimate as being really sick ( I used to think sex was the most intimate thing between people).

Hopefully you will get more strength back, both physical & of the spirit. You garden is a very good place to start. Zucchini is very life affirming! And, it feeds the multitudes. I remember an old Prairie Home Companion episode, where Garrison Keillor told the story of trying to get rid of excess of zucchini. He would place a basket of them on someones front porch, ring the bell, and RUN like hell.

So far so good..about the nice people.  It has really been a life changing experience and so amazing that there are actually many people with this as it seemed when I was in the hospital, even the ostomy nurse was not sure what to do with some of the questions I asked about. I would like to know where to find this idea of a small pin Eric came up with.  I have the newer to me bag with the filter in it, but find that useing the lubricating deoderant  by Holister seems to make its use a tad difficult for the filter, and where does one find that little valve he had in one video...osto e z vent?  I would like to find something less likely to wake me so fully in the night when I have to express the burrowed gas in my pouch.  Does anyone in B.C. know where to get coverage for the Lub. deoderant liquid.  I use the little pouches because it is a metered amount and from there have almost solved Erics so called pancaking, I prefer mudpie situation.  I do get nasty rashes when I get a leak, but my skin has always been very sensitive.  I used to have royally bad eczema from head to toe as a child and always on my hands as an adult, so being clean has been very important to me in so many ways.  

I used to make my own solution of liquids to put in my bag to prevent  anyone from hanging around the  stoma. However this meant moving the bag around  to get the solution to the top of the inside to move things down.  I used a 1/4 cup of Johnsons baby bath and shampoo, half a bottle of  hydrogion  peroxide and then about a full bottle of distilled or  other like water source. A bit of blue food coloring just for showing up.  This helped with odour to some extent, but in the end, whose poop does not stink?  However on that  note when it is in front of you it is another story.   This was all mixed in an clean distilled water jog, gallon size H2O but made going out a heavier experience for my purse then I wanted even aftr being placed in 8 oz. bottles or less.  Being and ileostomy, made for frequent emptying of the bag and uses of the solution  meant a bigger bottle for the homemade solution so I could be gone all day, always meant about  the 8 oz. size of bottler to carry with me.

When I found the samples for the Lub. Deoderant in a sample from Holister, I was over joyed!  My son found that I was different, more confident with the solution and has been buying the boxes of sachets for me sometimes, but I do not want that for him, this is my problem, not his.  Useing the liquid in the bottle form made it imposible to measure to ut into the bag and found I was useing it more quickly then the sachets.  Thus costing more finatually but then there is the landfill factor also.  I have to do what works for me.

Thank you for responding.  I seem to enjoy having this out in the open as it has been quiet for so many years and friends close ones, do not even know about this.  Yes, I have been thru a lot. I originally,  in 2007/08 spent 13 and a half months straight in the hospital.  6 1/2 months in Pen. and then 6 !/2 months in St. Pauls, in Penticton, I had about 8 surgeries one leaving my gut in suttured , but hooked up to a Vac cu pak, to suck out infection.  Leaving my gut to heal from the inside out, leaving a very pretty long wide scar in its wake.  Hooked up to  Pic lines for months on end and being very malnourished was crazy.  Away from my family, friends, and kids was nuts!  My hubby worse!!!  Then when I got out, five months later he was diagnosed with cancer, totally sucked!  My healing was set aside for  cancer appts. and treatments,  then the planning of the funeral, the funeral, and then admitting the fatigue just about killed me also. I spent months sleeping thru fatigue and crying from my most important loss. Not too many understand a younger widow I found out! I could not even open a can of soup when I first got out and no one thought to arrange help once at home.  I still tire very easily and get sick of the limited foods I can eat, but change them up when I get the right idea.  I would so love to burry my face in a big bowl of Spaghetti and sauce or more then one and a half slices of pizza...need I go on? So limited.

Does anyone out there deal with scar tissue and resulting pain?  What do you eat when you are too tired to even cook a meal of anything for yourself?  

Thank you for  chatting and listening.

Linda

Sincerely,

Linda

Also...you know you live in a small town when you come out of the store and there is zuchinni on your front seat!  Loved that one. I just take it to church after the neighbours look at you like your nuts...I made so many zuchinni loaves, they liked that, but you can still only eat so much Zuchinni!  You made me laugh...thank you Donna!

I would love a sub loaded to the gills, but bread hates me.

Anything huh?  Well, this summer I was sure tht kids were trashing my garden every  few nights. My tomatoe plants were always laying down and looking beaten in the morning.  I also heard what I was sure of was kids walking along the gravel in the side of my house.  Only after about 8 weeks of hearing noises and being afraid took a flashlight and hammer with me to the back yard to break a few rids of those killing my garden.  The one night I got brave and stood out there, I was hit with a wall of water so cold I gasped.  I turned around once I had wiped my head somewhat dry and was hit with another force of water.  Here, it turned out that tho so called kids breaking into my garden happen to be the two watering sytem, watering not just my garden but the two neighbours to the left with ...get this...reclaimed water...or as the grands called it...poopoo water!  It was treated with salt which should make eating the fruit and vegies just fine, however it killed perenials in its wake also!  A nice hot shower at 3 a.m. took care of the yukky feeling, but my goodness, there was going to be a phone call made in the morning, and there was.  It brought a rather fast respeonse when I told them the story and tried to do it without laughing because it was really rediculous in so many ways.  My hubby would have rolled over laughing so hard hard if he had been alive!  I loved his sence of humour!  Needless to say, I do not think I have to  fertilize next year.  About 8 weeks of poopoo water may have taken care of that for  every two or three nights!

When I asked if I could still eat the vegies, the response was ...they may be a bit salty!  We had a good chuckle and just got the problem with the town sprinklers fixed.  In the process I also informed the town guy that I did not enjoy them mowing the lawn just behind us  so called retirees at 7 in the morning and that we have earned the right to sleep in, I asked that they mow the school yard first them ours later in the day.  I guess they figured they owed us that much and have mowed the lawn after 11 in the am since .  You have to use your common sence when you have it right.

Thank you all so much for listening, you are all really the first!]

Linda

Hi Linda,  I know you will find this site as welcoming and helpful as I have.  I joined a couple of weeks ago and have been pleasantly surprised at the care and concern extended.  My stoma (aka Stella) came into being January 27, 2017. So still pretty new to it.  I will have been a widow for 20 years on Dec 26 this year. I know what you mean about young widows... I was 48 and my spouse was 49. I am still lonely.  I thought I had spent a lot of hospital time. Nearly 8 months and 3 surgeries along with adrenal failure.  But you have that record beat hands down. I have been home since August and I am still exhausted. Trying everything I can to get over it.  This has also severely impacted an already significant case of Rheumatoid Arthritis. So, hang in there kiddo, this is a good place and will help.

Linda, eat your pasta!!!!! eat the garlic bread, eat the salad (just cut it up a but) --As Eric said, drink during your meals-- Have some pie, cake, make a nice veg. soup, stew with meat.. Get started with these foods, expereance them-little at a time-- IF al goes fine? do it some more!! 

As far as the Osto e vent ---goes, you have to order through them..  As I am a visitor, I have loads of information in a box, and will find the info for you.. OR, you can talk with your ordering place and they can give you the info. if they are a big ordering system.  I use Byram.. USA.. over here... if your over there... 

So u got it the kisser huh? YUCK!!!!!!!!!!!! 

TO ALL:

When there is change, expect a difference.

When there is change, expect time to accept.

Very nice John....... 

Linda I agree with Marcie try different things but in moderation and chew throughly . I eat pretty much everything I want even corn on the cob . But a little at a time . Maybe that's not right for everybody but different things work for different people  . Like Eric told me experiment see what works for you  . 

Thanks Robert.............

My wife scolded me for the sh*tty story , but I'm still proud of her.
The conversations are getting lively and fun . We are getting to know each other and getting comfortable in this forum.

we can let loose a little. Even if poop is a 4 letter word, IT ISN'T"DIRTY". And who else can laugh about it if not us ostomates. Just because I defecate into a medical device doesn't change who I am. My head still thinks, my heart still feels etc. However, my experiences are uniquely mine. "Manure happens" is one of the fears that I have to get over . eventually we get past our own fears.
this enables us to help you to get past yours.
So accept our group , laughing and crying, listening and hearing your thoughts and feelings and even your pains.

My experience is not as bad as yours. I can empathize about the loneliness. I'm just happy that others don't know what the heck the problem is. 

When I was really bad off,mentally,  I volunteered to bring food to patients that are kosher. I do it 5 - 6 times a week.  My benefit is that I am able to make them feel better. When I am concerned about others,  I am able to get a perspective on my own personal situation.

Hey, I'm walking out of the hospital! 

Doing kindness is very easy and healing.

If they are not impressed with the food,  I encourage them to look into the future. Think about how you can help someone else tomorrow.