🤔 ... I wonder if Loraine has taken time to come & read these sweet sentiments of how missed & appreciated John was here & still is really. 

I remember my Mom,  also a widow & missing my Dad horribly saying to me thru her dementia one day that she was the only one left in the group of friends they had developed over the years. She seemed so lonely when she said it too.  

As a kid, starting with elementary school, there had been a classmate lost every 2nd or 3rd year from one tradegy or another. One was my cousin. He had crossed behind a school bus on a snowy day & as snow curled around in the wind from the bus, he ran behind &  he was hit by his school teacher & was killed. The teacher never saw him.  On a field trip, I watched in horror as my friend & seat mate ran in front of the bus & in front of a car & was hit. Then backed over by the confused elderly driver, likely wondering what caused the noise he heard, then again driving forward.  I was watching in horror as it happened right in front of me.   My friend died about 10 days later. It's kind of no wonder I tend to worry about safety more then I should. 

As we get older cancer becomes more of a common issue & we loose people we love from one thing or another, I do tend to  understand my Mom's words that day in her moment of clarity.

Loss never gets easier.  I think I have a pretty good understanding of life & death & I can even understand how Johns wife is feeling & will feel for the next several years & onward.  When my hubby died, it impacted my world severely in many ways,  including financially.  After the bit of life insurance was gone, I'm still grateful we had it on him & him alone.   My health has kept me from working outside our home & Gov't,  at least back then didn't take childcare seriously esp. when looking after children for a working people in a non-business rated home. 

As widows, we can only hope Gov't does better in the years to come.  Stay at home Moms or working moms, single moms & dad's too,  we  all work extra hard to make ends meet.  Anyone young enough reading this forum, if you are able to work to provide a better retirement for yourselves,  then please, do so if you are able. Even a little life insurance is worth the bother if you can spare it.  Maybe a few less coffees a week.  Plan for the days we never want to think about about of plan for as well.  

Loss of a loved one is the hardest thing you can go through in life! ❤️ 

I can’t believe John has been gone for a year.  I still miss him so much and talk to him a lot, usually while I am changing my bag. We made an agreement a long time ago that if one of us died, our ghost would try to visit the other. I haven’t gotten a sign that he is there, but I’ll keep up my side of the conversation. 

I hope everyone is well. I’ve been so busy with work and trying to spend lots of time with my mom. I feel like I need to find new ways to manage my stress, so any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. 

On a positive note, Tom and I are going on an epic vacation with our best friends to celebrate Tom and his best friend’s 60th birthdays. We are doing a river cruise on the Danube through Germany and Austria with a couple days in Budapest at the beginning and a few days in Prague at the end. I’ve never been to Europe and I’m pretty excited about it. 

Take care everyone and love and peace to you all. 

Yes hard to believe John has been gone a year . He and others on here gave me advice that I needed when I first became an Ostomate . I always enjoyed our little messages we shared and how he would always end with Keep er lit my friend . Loraine you and John are obviously in alot of peoples thoughts .

John RIP 

Keep er lit my friend 🙏

Such an encouraging and reassuring man; John did it all with kindness and good humor. His posts were so interesting; John was one of a kind and is greatly missed. I appreciate so much what he did for us here on VO, and I am sure he was like that in all of his life. God bless him and God bless his dear Lorraine.

Yes, I guess it has been a year since we lost John. And I agree with all the lovely things that have been said about him - he was one of a kind. I wonder how Lorraine is doing.

On a positive note, Liza, your upcoming trip sounds wonderful! I hope you will keep us in the loop about it. Have a great time!

Laurie

Posted by: @squeakyandliza

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I can’t believe John has been gone for a year. 

I've had a sickening feeling these past few weeks, in part, because I do still think of John often, and know this anniversary is upon us.

I feel like I need to find new ways to manage my stress, so any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. 

I've been working at this for several months, diving back into mindfulness and minimalism. 

There have been several books and audiobooks that I've been listening to, which have motivated me to be more grounded and declutter all aspects of my life.

Just to name a few, in no particular order (these were all borrowed through "Libby", which links to our local library card):

• Goodbye, Things by Fumio Sasaki (audiobook version)
• Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport (I've read the book, but also listened to the audiobook version)
• Outer Order, Inner Calm by Gretchen Rubin (audiobook version).
• Spark Joy by Marie Kondo (audiobook version)
• The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo (audiobook version)
• The Year of Less, Cait Flanders (book version).
• Nowhere for Very Long by Brianna Madia (audiobook version)
• Unstuffed by Ruth Soukup (audiobook version).
• The Happiness Project (book version).
• Eat & Run by Scott Jurek (book version).

There are quite a few more, but all along similar lines.

I also try to get out for walks as often as I can, just to walk and not think.

I hope you have a good time on your trip!

@veganostomy thanks Eric!!  I use Libby too and plan to put holds on some of these if they are available at my library.  And now that the weather is getting nicer, I plan to go out for walks too. Thanks for the suggestions and for all you do!!

Hey everyone , John and his great uplifting presence is still with us , I haven’t been up north in a few years but when I do I'm going to visit John's place of rest and leave some flowers , but in the meantime ,

"Keep her Lit " and keep "Suckin Diesel " and as we say here 

"Ní bheidh a leithéid arís ann – We won’t see his likes again " and John 

May the road rise up to meet you,

May the wind be always at your back,

May the sun shine warm upon your face,

the rains fall soft upon your fields

and until we meet again,

may God hold you in the palm of His hand.

@tony-h 

I added that to my bucket list-to put flowers on John’s grave. You’ll probably make it there before I do. ❤️

I only got to know John a little bit here because im stilll fairly new.  I can remember i was having a problem with the coloplast mio and he jumped right in to help and even gave me the number of a rep that he met at an airport once. 

I remember him as helpful to everyone here on the forum.

He is still helping on this forum. For the huge message he was getting out there about the rectal stump. His post is saving lives as he posted about what happened to him and he was very clear about telling to get that rectal stump removed several times.  People that stumble across this forum or that are searching the rectal stump will see that post and so yes, he is still here and saving lives.  

He is clearly missed here and to all affected I send condolences. He's no longer in pain or suffering. We shall all meet up again on the other side. 

@squeakyandliza  ... oh Liza!! Beam me up! I'm coming too! That is a trip I'd love to make! Please, blog about it here so I can travel through you!  I've wanted to take a river cruise, for years now & at Christmas would be so fun! I know you'll have a great time! 

Eric ... A Suggestion... about the start of covid, I was a mess.  I had to limit my T.V. News to once a week if that!!  But one night about 3 years ago, while I was stressing, I decided I needed a way to stress relief and I needed it fast.  I decided I was going to really apply myself and learn to draw or sketch, it was something I wanted to be, an Artist! In a way, I was one. I used to decorate multi layer wedding cakes of drawing out my plans from the  brides needs. When I started out, I was developing a skill or two from several I started to follow on line. To my surprise  they were at my fingertips & freely teaching what they knew.  I bought myself a couple cheap unlined  journals & learned how to repeatedly watch their videos while I worked on one simple drawing an evening. Nothing too fancy, just how to turn simple shapes into a figure, like triangles into a fox.  Even if you just doodle on your hand, you can still learn to draw.  Many combine drawing with painting, @andrea.nelson.art "you do you". You don't have to paint anything, just draw out what they will paint, like the fox. 

Here's a few artists you could look into... on Instagram or fb... 

@andrea.nelson.art

@rebelunicorncrafts

@iamshaneburke

@markliamsmith

@markkistlerlive

What surprised me the most is where I go to the most...

@markkistlerlive  ... he is the author of imagination station if you ever saw that as a kid. He's a "cartoonist". He has several challenges that are easypeasy.  Now, I've just started my 2nd year of a draw every day, a Markkistlerlive challenge. Its so fun to see a couple pencil marks on paper come to life. You don't need much to get started. A couple pencils, a good eraser & a pencil sharpener & to give yourself reason to flop! If you want my fav. Supplies, let me know. These five artists are my go to depending on my need for the day, but learning to draw has been a great way to distress every single day, I will often fall asleep drawing bcuz I draw in bed in the evenings, but I certainly fall asleep easier & longer since distressing this way.  Check them out. They all taught me something new and interesting & the challenge has been great fun for my brain too. 

@chelly What a beautiful way to remind us all that John is still helping people on this forum. You are absolutely right, Chelly, and how fitting that is because John was such a kind and helpful person. He will be helping people as long as this forum exists. And I think that would make him smile.

Laurie