Just absolutely stunned at the news, Eric. Nothing more I can say right now except that we were lucky to have John as a member of VO. Thanks for letting us know.

 Laurie 

Hey everyone , had the news from John's wife Lorraine earlier , John helped me when he was very ill himself and encouraged me to get the proctectomy , which I did , and this advice from John may very well have saved my life and I will always remember his witty humour and great advice down through the years ,

John you will be missed , my Northern Brother .

I am so sorry to hear this . Yes he informed us about what was going on and we knew it was going to happen.  But it's still really sad . We lived an ocean apart so I never got to met him face to face but we became friends through VO and messages .  He always had helpful information for whoever needed it me included .  He had a great sense of humor and was a very caring individual . I too will never forget him . I will always remember a saying he told me from his part of this world which is a long way from my part of this world . Last thing he would tell me is (keep er lit my friend) . Eric and Tony thank you for letting us know . John you'll not be forgotten 

Lorraine my condolences and prayers for you and John

Kept er lit my friend 

Robert 

I am heartbroken about this. I was checking my email just now and was so happy to see a message from John, and then devastated to read Lorraine’s message.  

Remember life is short. Hug those you love and don’t leave things left unsaid. I value all of you and am sending you all virtual hugs of appreciation and grief. ❤️

@squeakyandliza Yes, I had an email from John in my inbox too, but saw it after Eric’s post. I can’t imagine how hard this is on Lorraine. This was so quick. John was a lovely man who was so welcoming to everyone on VO; almost like an ambassador. So kind and self effacing, with a great sense of humour. (Some of the posts between John and Tony were hilarious) Always helpful if someone had a question, always wanting to help. We have lost a good friend here, and we will miss him very much.

Laurie

Eric, Thank you for telling us about John, I know this is hard for so many of us here. It sure is for me. 

My heartfelt condolences to Lorraine and the family. It's very hard to loose a husband or Dad in a family. 

John will forever hold a special place in my heart & memories. Lorraine, as you go forward , take all the time you need to grieve this special man. Do not let anyone rush you thru the insurmountable emotions & work you have ahead of you. Grief is a sneak & it will catch you whenever you least expect it. Do not hide your emotions.  I am a strong believer that tears are worthy of the person no longer with us & they say how much they will be loved & missed.

I was told not to make any life altering plans for one year. Take your time making decisions. You are about to discover just how strong & brave you really are. 

My thoughts & prayers will be with you in the following months ahead. Hugs to you & Thank you for sharing John with us all. 

Thank you for letting us know this, Eric. What a good man John was; my thoughts are with his Lorraine. We will surely miss his always supportive and helpful humor here at VO. He made a positive difference in our lives.

What a sad day to come to the forum and see that we have lost John. He was such a great member here in this community. I will always remember his positivity, strength and kindness. 

His wife and family and all who mourn him are in my thoughts and prayers. 

Thank you Eric for letting us know. 

I am still really really sad. John was one of the first people who reached out to me when I joined this site 6 years ago and we became instant friends. We were almost the same age (4 months apart), and in spite of living in opposite sides of the world, we had so much in common, while also so many things (ie: politics) where we were polar opposites. I told him things I’ve never told anyone and I’m pretty sure some of the things he shared with me weren’t common knowledge. He could be a very private person in some ways and loved to come off as gruff, but he really had a heart of gold.   

The world, and especially this group, will not be the same without him. 

@squeakyandliza It is quite remarkable how much of an influence John was on this site. He was just kind and supportive to everyone. I agree that it won’t be the same without him. I know you were really close, Liza, for several years. It just hurts.

 Laurie 

@tigerlily Thanks Laurie!  I have been having a bad day at work and feel like I’ve been on the verge of tears all day without really knowing why. Then I saw your message, and they just started flowing. I guess now I know why. I wasn’t sitting here at work knowingly thinking about John, but it must have been right there because I picked up my phone to check the site. I mean, sure, it has been a habit since we learned John was sick. I’m finally weaning myself off of checking my email all the time looking for a message from him (I have an email I rarely use for anything and John was one of few people who had that address).

I feel like people in real life don’t understand how I can be so sad about losing a friend I never met. But I know you guys get it. ❤️

@squeakyandliza  ... I'm sorry your having such a bad day Liza. I admit to being very off key since hearing of Johns passing too.  This all seems & feels very unfair sometimes. We have all gone thru so much & we survived it. We should all be wearing a tattoo of the adrenal & epinephrine molecule on our arms. 

There is a closeness that developes because we all have something in common. I mean, how many of us have a friend living close that has a stoma ??  Someone who understands the frustration of just replacing a pouch only to have do it again in a few hours or minutes or the next day even.  I find it a tiring process at times.  Someone who understands that many trips to the washroom are not always a good thing.  Someone who gets it when you say " I'm sorry, I'm too tired right now?"  I know for myself, you all are that person for me. 

So, that down and even a lost feeling, is a feeling of respect and and grief. Grief is a sneaky thing & it will bite you in the stoma when you least expect it. 

John & his input will be dearly missed here bcuz of his kind heart & I think we will all miss his input & humor. He was a character in his own making and we all appreciated him. 😢 ... its wonderful you shared emails with John & that developed another level of closeness. So, go-ahead and let the tears roll Liza.  John was worthy of grief & tears & so much more.  Here, have a virtual hug from me. I'm glad you shared your bad day with us. It's good to chat about John & remember him with good memories. Yes, he is missed. 

@squeakyandliza I've been feeling the same. John left a void that will be difficult to fill. He would forward me newsletters he'd get, then we'd talk about the products. It was nice, and I miss that.

I don't think any of us should have to justify our feelings. It hurts, and the loss of those connections or relationships we've formed with others, even if they were "online", is still felt. It's a real testament to how much he meant to us all.

I hate to admit it, but every year that passes fills me with the dread of knowing how little time we all have here on earth. And when we lose people who were close to us, it's a reminder of how fragile, urgent, precious our time really is.

I'm glad that we can share our collective grief, and hope that it makes the pain sting a little less.

@veganostomy Well said, Eric. What a lovely legacy that John left - that so many people who never met him feel the loss of him so acutely. Doesn’t that speak volumes about him? I guess the best way to honour John is to carry that kindness forward as best we can. 

Laurie

@veganostomy 

I agree Eric. Time seems to go so much faster, the older we get. And being at the age with aging parents. My mom is having health problems so I’m trying to go see her as much as possible (she is 3+ hours away). I lost my dad 5 years ago now. (John found me the perfect poem to put on the program for his memorial. ❤️)

My life is really stressful right now and I appreciate this “safe” space to talk about stuff and all the kind words everyone has to offer. I won’t bore you all with all the work stress but there is some crazy stuff going on there. 

When I had my fistulotomy in December, they did an EKG during the pre-op and it came back abnormal. So after over 3 months of worrying, I finally went it for my stress test today and it looks like my heart is doing okay. 😊

Eric, I know I speak for everyone in saying how much we appreciate you and everything you do for us all. I’m sure John told you this, but he and I had several discussions over the years about how much we both appreciated you and value Vegan Ostomy. 

I’ve been thinking about John lately, and feeling a bit mopey. Spring is just such a beautiful time of year, and I get so excited about it, and then I feel sad for anyone who is missing it. I think of Lorraine, and how hard it must be for her to see the earth wake up from winter with such exuberance, while she’s missing John.

 Laurie 

@tigerlily... it is hard! I recently lost a friend to matatastic bowel cancer.  It had already spread when she was diagnosed & was only given a short time to live. 

It was a shock to find out she had died & with great sadness that I never got a chance to say goodbye to her. 

We all know loosing those we love is going to be a big part of our lives. I've known so many in the past 15 years, 9 to covid & the rest to cancer... ugh! Having know her since she was a child, this was a bit like Loosing one of my sisters. 

It's just... how do we keep staying strong after we loose a family member or a friend.  We all know they would be okay with us missing them, but, they'd also want us to move forward, even in the baby steps like I had to take after my hubby died.  

Moving forward & being allowed to miss them & talk about them is a part of the grieving process, but also remembering their loved one/s  left behind us good too but also hard. 

We all miss John at different times. I find myself looking for his replies to someone seeking an answer or support in a forum. Sometimes he'd drop in just to say a few lines with a funny quip that made always me me smile or chuckle. 

John your ears must be ringing up there in Heaven! Lolol

@tigerlily I've been having to catch myself wanting to write John with something I think he would get a kick out of. I can't imagine how hard his loss is being felt by his wife and family. 🙁

Cancer has been a constant in my life since i was young , it never gets easier to deal with the loss , my first loss was my uncle Jimmy , 34 years old , can still see him in the hospital bed after getting a colostomy , always upbeat always a smile , the second was my mother , she had crohns for years and kept on bouncing back but then was diagnosed with cervical cancer and died hard , a lot of my cousins have had cancer , two died and the rest are fighting on , the only bright note is that with the newer imaging and diagnostics they are finding the cancers earlier and it gives us a better chance of surviving , 

John , I think of most days , only for his support and encouragement I wouldn't have gotten the proctectomy and who knows , we never forget those we have lost but the only thing is that the pain does fade , and the happy memories are what we think of most , 

John we miss ya buddy , keep er lit and suck that diesel .

Lorraine thanks for sharing a great man if only for a while .