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john68
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July 31, 2019 7:07 am  

Hi Liza, No ones performance is at its best when ill or reviving. After surgery it’s putting ourselves back together and the life and work around that. Plus a good life work balance is important. Even the best turned engine needs serviced and rest or it doesn’t rev. 🔧🧰

ileostomy 31st August 1994 for Crohns


VeganOstomy
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July 31, 2019 8:29 am  
Posted by: @squeakyandliza

He is saying it is because of the bad review I got, which was directly related to being out and working from home for 6 months.

This irks me. You are being punished for something that was out of your control.

But I'm sure you will surpass your past performance as things continue to normalize and you will get the recognition you deserve. 

Thanks for the update! 

Just your friendly neighborhood ostomate.

~ Crohn's Disease ¦ Ileostomy ~


Tony
 Tony
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July 31, 2019 9:04 am  
Posted by: @veganostomy
Posted by: @squeakyandliza

He is saying it is because of the bad review I got, which was directly related to being out and working from home for 6 months.

This irks me. You are being punished for something that was out of your control.

But I'm sure you will surpass your past performance as things continue to normalize and you will get the recognition you deserve. 

Thanks for the update! 

Agreed, sounds like a transparently lame line of bologna from a guy who hopes you're too stupid to see how transparently lame a line of bologna it is. Here's hoping he eats his words with a nice hunk of humble pie some day very soon.

Tony
Crohn's diagnosed in 1995.
Spontaneous colon perforation and emergency end ileostomy surgery in 2018.
No colon - still rollin'!
No eyesight - life still bright!
Stomaversary - December 4th


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SqueakyandLiza
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July 31, 2019 9:57 am  

You guys are all so sweet. It was definitely a big disappointment for me. I am either one or two pay grades below everyone in my group and I got my CPA license 2 years ago. Part of the problem is that my boss and all my group are in Idaho at the Headquarters and I am 5 hours away in Washington at the other corporate office. About 3 years ago we split off from our parent company and they hired all the executives in Idaho. My group was moved down there. There were 4 of us. One left the company and one got a different position in our office, and those positions were refilled in Idaho. One guy moved his family to Idaho. And then there was only me. Luckily they have allowed me to keep my same job but I feel like I get shortchanged a lot. 

My boss is hard. Do you guys know people who say things to make it seem like they are looking out for you, but that isn't the case at all. I might be too trusting or naive, but I get burned every time.

Wow, didn't mean to unload all of that on you guys. The last week has just been really rough for me.  But I am trying to focus on the good things today. 

One random question to lighten my mood. Can we still follow our gut instincts if we don't have "guts" any more??  😂

Thanks,

Liza

-Liza
“May your day be bright and your bag be light.”


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Tony
 Tony
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July 31, 2019 10:04 am  

Personal opinion: Being "naive" is often a sign of a good person who would never "burn" someone the way you have been. The opposite is not true of someone who is not naive anymore. I like to call such people reformed idealists. This is both a loss and a gain. Which wolf you feed is, of course, the big question. Keep feeding the good one as you are clearly doing.

Tony
Crohn's diagnosed in 1995.
Spontaneous colon perforation and emergency end ileostomy surgery in 2018.
No colon - still rollin'!
No eyesight - life still bright!
Stomaversary - December 4th


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SqueakyandLiza
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July 31, 2019 10:23 am  

Thanks Tony!!  I am glad to see you back here. You always have such insightful things to say. 

As they say, a leopard can't change its spots. It is in my nature to trust people until they give me a reason not to. I wear my proverbial heart on my sleeve, which opens me up to being hurt, but also allows the small group of people I truly care about know that I would do anything for them. 

As much as I want and think I deserve certain things, I will not compromise my values to get them. So I have to learn to be happy with what I have and know that my job is what I do to pay the bills and it doesn't define me. 🙂

-Liza
“May your day be bright and your bag be light.”


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zhtfreak
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July 31, 2019 10:48 am  

Liza,

 

I totally feel you on getting burned all the time. That is something I'm struggling with a lot right now and the more it happens, the more cynical I get. People try to be helpful and bring up all the positivity cliches but they just come off to me as annoying. EaEasy to just come up with a fix when you're not the one dealing with it. Sigh.

 

It is really good to have a sense of humor about things. I wish I could do that more often. Although, I probably laugh at myself and just don't realize it. In the summer of 2014 I was staying at my parents' house and they were going out to dinner with friends, so told me I could get some take out. I got me some Dominos and went to get a Diet Coke out of the fridge to have with it. Since I'm not there all that much, I don't always know what my parents have on hand. So I opened the can and took a sip and... it was definitely not a Diet Coke. I had grabbed a beer instead since my parents keep some for friends of theirs who drink. I don't drink at all, but never mind that. It was nasty! It tasted like carbonated liquid bread. I have no idea how people can find it appealing. lol

 

It was such a blind moment that I had my mom take a picture that I posted on FaceBook that said "I went to grab a soda, but ended up with this instead."

 

A little something to laugh at this morning.


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SqueakyandLiza
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July 31, 2019 12:03 pm  

@zhtfreak

That is the laugh I needed. 

As difficult as it is, I try really hard not to get cynical. Sure it opens me up to getting hurt, but I am happier with myself. Yes, it can get annoying when people give you cliches but they just want to make you feel better and don't realize what they are saying doesn't help. 

I just have to focus on what is important. In the grand scheme of things, not getting a raise or a promotion this year isn't going to hurt me financially. My husband has a good job and we get by just fine. It is more the principle of the matter.  I didn't meet my performance goals for the year, though I did do my basic job. My husband has to remind me that just being able to get back to work is an accomplishment and I shouldn't even have expected more of myself. He himself, who has always had exemplary performance reviews had his lowest this year, because of all the times he missed work caring for me and taking me to dr appointments. He said he did what needed to be done and understands it affected his work performance but wouldn't change it. 

-Liza
“May your day be bright and your bag be light.”


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john68
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July 31, 2019 12:38 pm  

I agree going back to work is an achievement, BUT having any sort of a disability should not define what a person can do. One of the best tracked digger drivers I know is in a wheelchair, All those machines are hand controlled. Once he’s onboard his skill comes into its own

ileostomy 31st August 1994 for Crohns


SqueakyandLiza
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July 31, 2019 1:31 pm  

@john68

I don't see my ostomy as a disability, just something that I now have to deal with. 😀 My issue was with how sick I was and how weak and malnourished by the time I had my surgery that I couldn't even get out of bed by myself, so sitting at the table and working 8 hours a day was huge for me.

I think people are very resilient and even people with very difficult disabilities find ways to excel, which is very inspiring to me. 

Once again, I am so incredibly thankful for the people here!!

-Liza
“May your day be bright and your bag be light.”


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VeganOstomy
(@veganostomy)
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July 31, 2019 3:37 pm  
Posted by: @squeakyandliza

I don't see my ostomy as a disability,

Just a quick thought:

While we can most certainly do a lot of things (probably as many things as before we got sick), it is in our best interest an a community of ostomates, that the governments, insurance companies, employers, and businesses of the world recognize an ostomy as a "disability" as it opens up funding, care access, accessibility options, and support that we'd otherwise never get.  😁

Just your friendly neighborhood ostomate.

~ Crohn's Disease ¦ Ileostomy ~


john68
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July 31, 2019 3:54 pm  

That’s a very good point, Contacting the right department/people could lead to retraining and opportunities 

ileostomy 31st August 1994 for Crohns


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SqueakyandLiza
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July 31, 2019 4:40 pm  

@veganostomy

I had no idea it would be considered a disability. That is good to know, in case I end up needing any special accommodations. Thanks Eric!!

-Liza
“May your day be bright and your bag be light.”


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VeganOstomy
(@veganostomy)
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July 31, 2019 4:58 pm  
Posted by: @squeakyandliza

@veganostomy

I had no idea it would be considered a disability. That is good to know, in case I end up needing any special accommodations. Thanks Eric!!

Yup. I get both an ostomy grant and a "disability tax credit" because of my stoma. It really helps to offset the costs. 

Just your friendly neighborhood ostomate.

~ Crohn's Disease ¦ Ileostomy ~


sjlovestosing
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July 31, 2019 7:37 pm  

Wow, where have I been to have missed all this going on in your life Liza? I am sorry that your boss is not as understanding as he should be. It must be hard not to be appreciated for all the hard work you've done. 

Though I understand how you can feel that your ostomy is not a disability, if you can get your medical insurance (and I am assuming this is through your company) to pay for a major part of your costs for appliances, doctor visits, etc. that would be good. 

Here in VT we have a state-run health insurance plan that is based on income, which is a good thing as my husband is the sole earner. We pay a certain amount each month for our insurance, and  because my husband only makes a certain amount our insurance is subsidized, otherwise we couldn't afford it. We only are responsible for a $35 co-pay and I am allowed a certain number of  appliances, adhesive wipes, lubricant, etc. each month. 

Hoping that things are looking up for you soon.

Stella


SqueakyandLiza
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July 31, 2019 9:27 pm  

@sjlovestosing

Hi Stella,

My husband has really good insurance so that makes a huge difference. I had surgery last June and I think we reached our out of pocket max by September or October. This year we have already met the out of pocket max, so we aren't paying anything for me right now. I've been off of the home nursing for a couple months. They were ordering ostomy supplies. So far I have had to order twice and didn't pay anything at all. I go see the GI doctor next month and he will schedule a scope. The surgeon is waiting for the results to see what my next surgery is--either rehooking or removal of rectal stump. And either way, they will fix the ginormous hernia I have. I'm not in any rush to have any surgery, much less one to make something permanent, but it is tempting to try to get it in this year while there is no more out of pocket costs. 

I have been on an emotional roller coaster the last few days, but thanks to all the support and friendship here, now I just feel like it is an emotional Ferris Wheel. 😂

-Liza
“May your day be bright and your bag be light.”


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LK
 LK
(@dlkfiretruck)
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August 1, 2019 8:43 pm  

Hey Liza, I am one who does benefit from being on disability because of Bowel disease. Yes, we gave a good medical plan in Canada, but it is also something we  pay into monthly. I first qualified when I found out by mistake that Social Services, had a disability plan.  Tho I loved working & worked from age 15 to 22, after a really bad car accident, 3 weeks after our wedding, I have been unable to work. My own sister who is a "boss" would not hire me because of my health. Too risky to rely on, tho all said very kindly, I realized I really was not as well as I wanted to be, I saw my GP who set me straight about my health and likely life ahead of me. It took until about 12 years ago to find any kind of helpful financial government support. I felt horrid at not being able to help pay the bills and even take  a holiday. Tho a holiday is still unlikely, at least I can put food on the table. Thru disability, my meds. are mostly covered 100%, but never nutritional anything such as the iron infusions. Someone in Gov. office needs learn the difference between bad eating habits, disease, and malabsorption. Without disability, I would be hooped. Living on $1360. A month sucks but it's almost do-able.

Linda


SqueakyandLiza
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August 1, 2019 9:22 pm  

@dlkfiretruck

You are such a trooper, Linda. You are always so kind and helpful, even when you are going through such horrible things. 

How was your dad's service?  How are you holding up?  Just cry it out. I know you have been holding it back, but just let it out-it will do you wonders. I'm sure there are people sending you virtual hugs from around the world. 😀

-Liza
“May your day be bright and your bag be light.”


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LK
 LK
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Posts: 699
August 1, 2019 10:10 pm  

Hello all and Liza,  yup, I'm back to some extent. Its been an interesting 3 months. I'm very tired and will give an update in the next day or two as I even managed to  fit in a GP apt. and the internist! Thankyou all for your thoughts prayers and good wishes. I missed the internet! Lots going on here I see.

Linda


dogtalkerer
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August 2, 2019 3:24 pm  

are you new to accounting? I've been doing what I do for 20 yrs.  I'm my worst critic.  if I was not doing my best for a long period and got a promotion, I'd be offended.  do you feel you are doing work that deserves promotion?  do others count on you at work? 

as fair as calling me disabled because I have a colostomy? where's it going to end? humans on their own could be considered disabled, the weakest of all animals.   So, you call me disabled, I say bull crap!


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