@sjlovestosing ...oh Stella! I am just catching up with a good eyeball  morning.  I am so very sorry to hear your news & your battle,  but so glad you shared it here with us. This has to be extremely frustrating & scarey for you & your family.  I can only imagine the wealth of emotions you are & will be dealing with hourly. 

Of course I'll certainly keep you in my prayers. Reading all the kindness towards you above my post warms my heart tremendously. I cried several tears on your behalf reading this forum,  the support is remarkable.  As said, YOU go right ahead & cry as often as you want too, crumble into a broken heap, repeatedly if need be to help gather a  deep supply of the courage you have previously summoned to rise above your past challenge of cancer & when your well is dry tell us & we'll cry for you & with you. We are here, some, (me) later then others but we are here for your support one way or another. 

Prayer, talking to God got me through my year in hospital & my hubbies cancer battle & the challenges I face as a widow. With 7 major surgeries in 6 months & the waiting for many other tests & more surgeries & 6 hours away from my family,  you can bet I cried,  I was so angry at God that I sure did talk to him and pray. Waking up from surgery not knowing immediatly if I still had a bladder & how much gut was removed again.  Being a double bagger was a huge possibility for me,  it never scared me, it was going to actually be a relief. God never promised we wouldn't have struggles and pain in life did He? I find it is what we learn & do with it after that matters.

I re-read some of my favorite Bible verses after reading all of this forum & will pass some of them onto you. I found so much strength in these verses when I was fighting for my life, (tho not because of ugly cancer),  in that year.  The times I was so weak & weary I could only barely mumble "cover me with feathers". This also prompted questions from medical staff when I improved a little. Lol! Once, just as I was going under a scarey surgery apparently I mumbled it & even the anesthetist came back later & asked me what it meant or referenced to. Lol! 

Psalm 91:4 - 6   Verse 4 - He will cover you with His pinions (feathers).  And under His wings you may seek refuge. His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark.  

(Bulwark, this has an interesting Biblical definition if anyone wonders, google it, if not, its like protection a shield, but better defined Biblically ) 

5 - You will not be afraid of the terror by night. 

Or of the arrow that flies by day; or

6 - Of the pestilence that stalks in darkness. Or of destruction that lays waste at noon.

Stella, you are a strong courageous Woman having done these trials once before.  Be encouraged, medications have changed, improved since the last huge battle you fought hard to overcome & triumphantly won.  Even if you can only mumble God be with me from your heart, or God help me... my favorite still is ... God please give me the courage to... He will be with you.  Believers know we have a Gaurdian Angel, a helper & even when we can't pray & put into words our grief & needs that will be done for you through your indwelling Holy Spirit.  You will have the strength, comfort & the further courage you will need. 

Phillipians 4 : 13   I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. 

Matthew 11 : 28 & 29   Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy - laden , and,I will give you rest. 

29  Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you shall find rest for your souls. 

Stella, turn up your Gospel music and  when you can sing again, sing to your hearts content.  Take encouragement from the words & meaning of each song. You are strong and we will help hold you up and those who believe in the power of prayer will keep you in our prayers. 

Keep us in your loop of friends who care & support you & when we don't hear from you for a bit, we will continue to uphold you in prayer. All the best of health dear Stella and family.

Stella.  You, your husband and caregivers are in my prayers today and the  foreseeable future. ~BOB

• @dlkfiretruck

Thank you Linda for your very kind and encouraging words - especially for the scriptural reminders. This is the second time today someone said that I should listen to Christian music. My phlebotomist prayed over me today and suggested the music.

God bless,

❤️

Hi Stella . Was looking through here and saw you're message . I am sending prayers for you and your husband . Stay positive 🙏

Thinking about you, Stella. ❤️

sending positive thoughts and prayers to yourself and your husband Stella  , stay strong 

Hi everyone,

I found out today where I stand with my cancer - it is in stage 4. It is primarily in the pelvic area, but there is also a tumor wrapped around my left kidney and spots on the lungs. Thank you again for your support and prayers - they are always appreciated.

❤️

Stella you’re in the thoughts and prayers of a lot of folks 🙏

@sjlovestosing Thank you for keeping us updated. I've been thinking of you often and hope that the love this community has shown gives you strength.  

We are pulling for you, Stella. 

Stella, we are all still here for you. Yes, this will be a fight, but you are up to the task. Here is where you can let off steam, even rant when you need to. We don’t mind, and we’re good listeners. Hang in there.

Laurie

Stella, keep walking, walk with your faith. Your faith will guide you to see the right doctors, they will use the right medicine and right technologies. Nowadays, many medicine and technologies are available for all kinds of sickness including cancer. Keep walking. Sometimes you may feel tired, but remind yourself that heroes will also feel tired . 

Whatever you want to say, say here, anytime, we're all with you. If you want to cry, just sign in and cry to us, your brothers and sisters. (Yes, you may cry to God. He will comfort you because you're His daughter).

@sjlovestosing 

Stella, I hope you can feel the outpouring of love and strength being sent to you from far and wide. You are part of our ostofamily and we all want the best for you. ❤️

As I write this, I can't help but cry since I have a tendency to do just that when something touches my heart so deeply as your support and friendship. All of you are so special to me, and I thank God for this community of ostomates.

I go to the oncologist tomorrow at 8:00 am. I have to admit, I am nervous about it. I did not do chemo or radiation the last time, since the experimental cocktail and radiation would have done me in. I was very thin at the time and all of the cancer was removed, so I decided to take my chances as I had just as much chance of the cancer returning without treatment as with. In fact, I beat the odds by 6 months. But as someone I know said, "Once you've had cancer, you are just waiting for the other shoe to drop." He underwent cancer treatments twenty years ago. He suffered a stroke two years ago. Then he found out that his cancer returned. I realize that there are no guarantees in this life, so all I can do at this point is just hope in God's help in controlling my fears, His guidance in all that I do and  His healing. 

Thanks again for being there for me. God bless you all.

Stella

Good Luck tomorrow, Stella!!  ❤️

The picture is a week late, but it made me laugh. And you know they say laughter is the best medicine.

@sjlovestosing ,sending prayers & hugs!! Open your heart & let aaaall the love in!!❤🤗

@squeakyandliza 

Oh my goodness that is a hoot!😂 Yes, laughter is always a good thing!

Hi all, 

Well, I got a boat load of info from the oncologist and more tests lined up. Until those results come back, I still don't know which treatment, if any, will be the right one. I will be having an upper chest CT scan, a bone density scan and a biopsy. Please keep those prayers coming for direction and for peace in the decisions I make. Thanks again you wonderful people!

❤️

@sjlovestosing So, the medical professionals have things moving, which is good, right, and they will make educated selections of your tests, read and study your results and provide options for you to think about. I have been through cancer decisions, myself, and you are on my mind. ❤️ All best wishes. LL

@sjlovestosing It really sounds like the team of healthcare professionals you have working with you is really on the ball. That's wonderful to hear!