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LK
 LK
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August 3, 2019 8:05 am  

 IT meant so much to me to have my husbands support. Tho he's in Heaven, I am so glad I thanked him then and let him know again how much I appreciated him and what his support over 30 years meant to me. I had crumbled into a pile of exhaustion and tears during my first shower and  pouch change at home. my love stepped into the shower with me clothes and all and held me so lovingly while I cried my heart out. He was too sick to come to the hospital and I had not seen him for 10 days. Tho we had phone contact, I still felt very alone and I knew that was about to get much worse. Me in my birthday suit, he in his jeans, shirt and socks... I'm sure we made quite a picture standing sopping wet in the shower clinging to each other. His big strong arms around me and encouraging words, gave me the courage to go forward into a world I accepted but had not wanted to enter. Ostomy life,  and becoming a widow were a tad overwhelming that day. I was so blessed and I will love him forever. If your eaves dropping honey, thankyou so much, again.

Linda


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sjlovestosing
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August 3, 2019 9:41 am  

Linda,

I am sure he knows! Love goes beyond the barriers of this life.

God bless,

Stella


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VeganOstomy
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August 3, 2019 10:34 pm  

Linda, that sounds like the kind of love everyone should have at least once in their life. I'm glad you were fortunate enough to spend many decades with your husband, and I'm saddened that you lost him. 

Just your friendly neighborhood ostomate.

~ Crohn's Disease ¦ Ileostomy ~


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LK
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August 4, 2019 1:53 am  

Thank you Stella and Eric.  Yes, he knew how much I loved and appreciated him from the beginning of our marriage and  vice versa.  He was a good man and we were a very good match. I can not be the only one out here with a tender or caring moment during that time that we are adjusting to our ostomies, or after the adjustment period for that matter. Whether a parent or partner, sibling or spouse, cousin, friend, neighbor even.....who rescued you, when you needed it most and what was happening? Okay, I have no idea how I did this!  I was only trying to blow up the print and failed. 

Linda


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sjlovestosing
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August 4, 2019 9:01 am  

Hi Linda,

There are two who come to mind first. During my nights in the hospital when I was feeling pain, I felt God's presence giving me the strength to endure. He has been my constant companion through all my ups and downs in life. My husband was and has been a continuing source of support and comfort. He holds me when I cry, makes me laugh (or groan) at his jokes, and keeps me level headed. He also is not put off by my new body, but still sees me as beautiful. (This is amazing to me as I don't view myself that way. I guess I still have body issues from time to time.) 

God bless,

Stella


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LK
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August 4, 2019 11:09 am  

@sjlovestosing

Thankyou Stella. I know everyone is off doing all sorts of exciting things being a weekend and after hanging around Mom it's been so nice to be with "like" people again who have clear thoughts. I too, have to give credit to God here.  Years ago I memorized psalm 91: 4 & 5. Being in sheer agony with a bad obstruction, pain outwitting the powerful pain killers the anesthetic & with 6 hrs. to go, emerg. surgery could not come soon enough. Delirious with  pain, all I could fumble past my lips was "feathers, Lord, uphold me" which puzzled  not only my man, but the doctors, surgeon & nurses. Later I was told that by what they found going on, classified the pain as tortous, I had to agree. I was told that the apparent relief & calmness that came over me as I mumbled those words, baffled the doctors & nurses responsible for my care. Believing and trusting in Gods higher power has gotten me thru some pretty horrid situations. Honourable Mention; There is so much to be said for the support from a loved one who helps carry the burdens at the same time as being a source of love, kindness, encouragement & "advocacy"& as I occasionally thought of my supporters as, a "bumper". Shoulders are an amazing thing to lean and cry on. Thank you so much for sharing. After not talking about how I felt about the changes and appearance of my body for 8 yrs. & yes, even the shame I felt because of it, when I found Eric and his insightfulness, I had a bit of a time accepting & realizing it was OKAY to feel like this and more so, to talk about it, ask questions & get answers. I was a tad desperate and felt alone (not anymore) in my path, that has been obliverated because of you Eric, and all of you all here! Confidence is an amazing thing.

Linda


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sjlovestosing
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August 4, 2019 2:07 pm  

Linda,

Thank you so much for sharing about your faith - that too gives me encouragement.

God bless,

Stella


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SqueakyandLiza
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August 5, 2019 12:47 am  

@dlkfiretruck

Good idea for a topic, Linda. 

I definitely had some great support and an outpouring of love through my experience. For my 11 days in the hospital, I was known as the room with all the flowers. I must have gotten 10 arrangements. It was so nice. 

My husband Tom's best friend who lives five hours away went out of his way on a business trip to come see me and support Tom. 

For two and a half months after I got out of the hospital, either my mom or Tom's mom was staying with us, caring for me so Tom could go to work. And I needed a lot of care early on. I couldn't get out of bed or even out of a chair without help, and needed a walker, even in the house. I feel very guilty, because I think I "broke" both of our moms in the process as they have suffered health problems since then, especially my sweet mother. 😕

And then there is Tom. In 2006, my mom's boyfriend of 12 years got really sick and was in the hospital for 6 weeks before he passed away. My mom was at the hospital with him every single day, putting her job and everything else aside to be with him. I remember thinking at the time, "I hope nothing like this ever happens to me, because I don't think Tom has it in him to be there for me like that."  Boy, did he prove me wrong. He was at the hospital every day, made sure to be there early so he would see the doctors when they came around. He dealt with my boss, with my disability insurance, everyone that needed to be dealt with. He responded to every text that came on my phone, sent thank you texts to everyone who sent me flowers. I still had 2 weeks of IV antibiotics 3 times a day when I went home, so he adjusted his work schedule to do those. He has taken me to every single doctor's appointment I have had in the last year. **Men might want to look away for a minute-he even ended up there for a "female exam" when my GP told me I was overdue for a Pap, but she could just do it then. 😂 

Tom has kept a calendar with all my appointments, keeps track of all my medication and sets it out for me every morning, is changing my wound dressing a couple times a day, and has basically done everything around the house for the last year. 

Don't get me wrong, he is the first to admit he isn't perfect, and doesn't always do these things with a smile on his face, but he does them and his strength and organized engineer personality has gotten us through the last year and will hopefully get us to our new normal. 


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LK
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August 5, 2019 3:42 am  

Liza, Thankyou.  This topic came to me when my Dad, unable to speak, mouthed the words, Thank You, on seeing us taking the chair, 24/7,  never leaving him without family the last month of his life. Remembering my own family taking the chair to sit with me after a particularly bad infection and surgery.  It was such a comfort to have them there, "in the chair". Hopefully we all have had someone take that place and get us thru our rough time. I think having a chance to thank them in this way, and perhaps their reading it, will give them further recognition.

Your story is very heart warming and meaningful. I had a few tears reading it. No surprise, considering the events of the past 3 months here. I have so much and so many who deserve that "thanks", once again. Thank you so much for sharing your story. You can't blame yourself for your Moms illnesses, just as I had to be told that my mans Cancer was not my fault. I was sure the stress my illness had  caused his cancer, being diagnosed only 5 mths. after I was released. Your Moms would not want you to blame yourself.  Try to avoid going down that road. But, I understand how and why you may go there, but it's not healthy. (Haha). Your well on your way to concurring your battle. Keep looking forward!

 

Linda


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sjlovestosing
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August 5, 2019 7:56 am  

Hi Liza,

What a powerful story! I think that Linda, you and I have been blessed with especially caring, loving husbands, families and friends. My two children their spouses and grandchild also gave me and still give me a great deal of support and love.

When I saw that you were in the hospital for 11 days, I was reminded of the 12 days I spent there. On the tenth day of my stay, my surgeon (who had been away on a conference) saw me on his rounds, and said, "What are you doing here?" You see, I was supposed to be released on the 5th to 7th day, but the pain killers they gave me made me so sick that I was bringing everything up. Also, I was being poked and prodded with needles every day  and put through two x-rays. I had lost a great deal of weight at that time, my sodium levels were low and I developed an infection (which meant having three bags of antibiotics pumped int me) because the nurses kept inserting and reinserting the Foley catheter. Though the hospital won't admit it, my urologist later told me that the infection came from the fact that the Foley was being misused. Thankfully, she got me on the right track and within two months of her care, I was catheter free!

Anyway, on the twelve day, after being told yet again that I would be undergoing more tests, I said that I had had enough. I wasn't healing there and I wanted out. The surgical team, who had been checking on me daily, called my surgeon and he said that he agreed totally with me and that I needed to get the h*** out of there." The truly amazing thing is that as soon as I got off that floor, my appetite came back with an immensity I have never known. We stopped at one of the hospital restaurant (which happened to have much better food than the kitchen!) and I had a small slice of pizza and  juice. When we got home, Lee made my favorite meal (mashed potatoes, chopped meat with gravy and green beans) and I ate it all! From that point on, my recovery came in leaps and bounds. It's amazing what being home can do for us!

Stella

P.S. My surgeon had given me the go ahead on what I could eat, and I did take things in small amounts and slowly!


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LK
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August 5, 2019 1:04 pm  

@sjlovestosing

Thankyou for sharing that. Being a canadian long weekend/weekend for everyone else, I look forward to more shared stories this week. l have been fortunate in that my Doctors have kept up with learning, but I can't say as much for nurses. Bored nurses can be dangerous nurses. Learn your "rights" as an in hospital patient and "exercise them". Good on your surgeon for backing you up!

Hospital food has no salt or herbs used in them which is sad, but they have to play it safe. Food will grow stone cold waiting for someone to thing you a pack of salt, so I always bring my own shakers and my choice of an herbal seasoning mix I use at home. Club House, la grille, vegetable seasoning mix. Brings spuds/rice to life (has some salt in it). Great on anything.

I can't imagine not having a supportive family, I have been truly blessed that way. I enjoy watching a patients support system when I have to be in hosp. And find that even if they don't have the stomach for things, they are always appreciated for just showing up  and holding a hand. My dad used to come in, say hi,kiss my forehead say "see ya latter", and leave. Yup, as fast as it took to tap this out. Butt, I knew he was there waiting in the car, thinking of me in the best way he could handle. Lol! Thank you for sharing your story.

Linda


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