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OMG, what an evening

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LLNorth
(@llholiday)
Joined: 6 years ago
Posts: 562
Topic starter  

Excuse the length, please bear with me.

My ostomy is 5 years and and I have become fairly confident of how I handle things. This year because of “confidence” I bought two pairs of white pants (haven’t worn white pants/skirts/dresses since my surgery). 

My Holister 2-piece occasionally separates at the bottom - I think because of where it “hits” when I sit. You can probably see where I am going….

I was at a meeting sitting though a presentation that took over two hours. Afterwards I stood speaking briefly with a couple of women (“So glad to see you …. What a lovely night ….”) then left the meeting room with my husband. We stopped at the bathrooms before the drive home. Well, when I was in there I discovered a major leak - from the bottom of my flange it leaked down between my legs to where I was sitting. Thank goodness it was very watery and colored green/gray from the M9 drops - and thank goodness I usually wear longer shirts; nonetheless it showed when I scrutinized my backside in the mirror. 

Well, for sure I had to get home, and my husband was nowhere to be seen - he had gone back into the meeting room. A man stopped me outside the room to want to give me some political literature; I said, “Oh, my husband is the one who knows all about that” fluttering my little-woman eyelashes and rushed into the room, where husband was yacking with a guy we know. I said, “we have to leave right now,” and husband looked confused. Repeated myself and we left, me trying to casually hold my purse over my backside like it was my natural way. The literature guy stopped us; husband took one. The lit guy tried to get him to take a stack to distribute; he said one would be fine and we left. This all happened in a motel where there were People All Around.

At home I had to peel everything off and bundle it into the washing machine, where it is now.

I am just so mortified; did anybody see this? The spot was round, about 2 inches across, with some scattered smaller spots. Right where I sit. Do I have to stop wearing my new white pants that I love?

I believe the chairs were covered in a dark plastic-y fabric. At least that is what I am telling myself.

 

Colostomy 4/30/18.
I love the smell of coffee in the morning. It smells like .... victory.


   
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Lynne
(@lynne)
Joined: 5 years ago
Posts: 74
 

LL it seems to me that you handled the situation wtih great aplomb.  I bet no one noticed a thing and I would definitely wear your white pants again, after a little bleach.  Shit happens to everyone!  This also reminds me of the great quote from Winston Churchill: “ When you’re 20 you care what everyone thinks, when you’re 40 you stop caring what everyone thinks, when you’re 60 you realize no one was ever thinking about you in the first place." :-)


   
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(@john68)
Joined: 7 years ago
Posts: 2058
 

Hi LL, I agree you handled the situation brilliantly 👌 and lynne is spot on! Get those white pants back on. I know I am pretty confident with my Ostomy , but when something like that happens it unnerves me.

And as for anyone noticing, well most people are so wrapped up in themselves to notice any thing.

Chin up and best foot forward 👍👍👍👏👏

ileostomy 31st August 1994 for Crohns


   
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Tigerlily
(@tigerlily)
Joined: 4 years ago
Posts: 421
 

Oh what an awful experience for you! Of course, we’ve all had bad experiences of some kind, so we are feeling extreme empathy for you! I agree with all that has been said already - keep the white pants! You handled the situation beautifully! You should teach a course in how to keep your head in a crisis! The only thing I wonder about is you’ve said that sometimes your two-piece separates at the bottom. Does that happen often? Would it be a good idea to consider a different appliance? Even if it’s just for white pants days? 

Laurie

Just a semicolon


   
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Cat momma
(@cat-momma)
Joined: 2 years ago
Posts: 94
 

Oh goodness, you must have felt awful and self conscious! 

But don't worry, after a long life of fecal incontinence, I can console you with the fact that nobody really pays attention to other people. Everyone is too busy with themselves. 

I've been in a busy underground train, completely soiled (down to my ankles) and smelling pretty bad. No one called me out, pointed at me or laughed at me. They were talking to each other, scrolling on their phones or reading a book. Maybe they would say something after I had gotten off, but who cares? 

You know what? Even if somebody did notice, they'll never at first glance jump to the conclusion that you soiled yourself. They'll assume you spilled something, like coffee. Or sat down on a piece of chocolate.

You handled yourself perfectly and with grace. Don't let this mess with you, it's just one bad experience. You can wear those white pants again and you'll be totally fine. 

Incontinent in a better way, since 12 July 2023


   
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 LK
(@dlkfiretruck)
Joined: 7 years ago
Posts: 1557
 

Oh my goodness!!! What a champ you are. Yes, wear the whites again if they make you feel closer to normal & more like yourself,  its well worth it.  I've had leaks at unfortunate times as well, but changed when & what I eat the day before or day of depending. Not a cure at all ... bcuz we all know stomas can be finicky little suckers! 

I'm curious here... who would have appreciated, or wanted to be told about a leak by someone who noticed marked clothing ?

Linda


   
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VeganOstomy
(@veganostomy)
Admin
Joined: 11 years ago
Posts: 4372
 

You handled it so skilfully! You should at least be proud of that!

Posted by: @llholiday

My Holister 2-piece occasionally separates at the bottom - I think because of where it “hits” when I sit.

This is one thing that Coloplast "click" 2pc appliances do well, since the lock prevents accidental separation, but I still hope that this problem happens very, very rarely. If not, consider a 1pc Hollister.

And thank you for sharing this experience. Good, bad, or ugly, you got through it 👍 

Just your friendly neighborhood ostomate.
~ Crohn's Disease ¦ Ileostomy ~


   
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Cat momma
(@cat-momma)
Joined: 2 years ago
Posts: 94
 

Posted by: @dlkfiretruck

I'm curious here... who would have appreciated, or wanted to be told about a leak by someone who noticed marked clothing ?

I've never had that happen, but.... I never wore white trousers. I guess sometimes people want to be helpful and point out a stain or a mark on your clothing. Even then, the possibility of that being stool or output, will never be their first conclusion. 

I am not the kind of person myself to point out stains or marks on someone else's clothting. You never know what other people deal with....

 

Incontinent in a better way, since 12 July 2023


   
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(@squeakyandliza)
Joined: 6 years ago
Posts: 1036
 

Oh no Linda!!  Sounds like you handled it perfectly. 

 

I had something very similar Tuesday. I was meeting with a co-worker in a conference room down the hall from my office. We finished up and I stood up and could feel moisture in my pants. I hadn’t felt it the way I was sitting. It was a definite leak and my pants were very wet. Luckily I had a spare pair in my emergency bag so I had to go down the hall to my office and get my bag and hold it in front of me and walk up the stairs because the bathroom on my floor-the stalls aren’t magnetic so I can’t hang my mirror. So I changed my bag and pants and rinsed out my dirty pants and spent the rest of the day in black pants with a navy shirt and shoes. 🤣

-Liza
Ileostomy 6/18/2018
“May your day be bright and your bag be light.”


   
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LLNorth
(@llholiday)
Joined: 6 years ago
Posts: 562
Topic starter  

Thank you everybody for your encouraging words! I am trying to remember if I ever saw/noticed anything like that on another person, and cannot think that I ever have, so Cat Mama that makes me feel a lot better. Liza, yes, that was how it was for me, didn’t feel anything until I got to the bathroom. 

Went to my high school reunion the evening before last and decided on my black pants since I was helping and doing a lot of running around …. They looked better with my shirt, anyway 😊. But I am certainly not going to abandon my new white pants!

Colostomy 4/30/18.
I love the smell of coffee in the morning. It smells like .... victory.


   
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Tony H
(@tony-h)
Joined: 8 years ago
Posts: 336
 

as most have already said , we have all been there , and all you can do is laugh , my latest episode was in the ER which was crowded and seats were at a premium , there was a woman with a young child and after a while I noticed a smell like a diaper(nappy) needing changing , it got stronger and I kept waiting for the woman to take the child and change her , eventually the penny dropped and I felt moisture down below , my bag had filled with air and disconnected , luckily I had my emergency kit with me and thanks to a helpful nurse was brought to a disabled toilet where I managed to sort my self out , 

got some funny looks back in the ER , but to be honest now I really don't care what people think any more , since my ostomy I live a fuller life and if the occasional mishap occurs who cares , I DON'T , I just smile because I'm just about immune to the fumes now and other people can enjoy the fruits of my ostomy and I just smile because smiling is much easier and makes you feel better .


   
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 Ryan
(@ryan)
Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 11
 

Yeah, i understand. My funniest situation was having my bag drop off while brushing my teeth. I smiled


   
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 LK
(@dlkfiretruck)
Joined: 7 years ago
Posts: 1557
 

@tony-h  ... Tony, you made me laugh & I kind of needed a chuckle today! Thank you!! 

Like Eric, I'm not one to point out or gawk at others clothing to see whatever stains might be. I think most of us have our little "cover up" ideas & are creative enough to find something or someone, to go ahead of us if need be! I once used my hubby as my cover up to get me to that nasty tiny washroom in a gas station!! That washroom was so small I hardly had elbow room & turning around was near impossible and I needed a pouch & shirt & pants change. Wearing runbers added to the frustration! Lol! But I found out I could manage a bad leak & change in a near impossible closed in  space & in the only washroom available there. 

On Joining here I still recall reading of others experiences & how much better I felt knowing & learning from others here!! Thank you ALL so much for relating your experiences & survival stories & tips. Know that its not wasted words & time & that it can be encouraging to newbies & Sure was/is to me !! 

Linda


   
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