Hi kiltedwolf. Firstly yep a lesson learned the hard way stays with you. And secondly I admire a man who knows his place and admits it. I too give respect to my long suffering better half.😁

Posted by: @kiltedwolf

The preceding tidal wave erupted with the force of tsunami... 8-O Luckily, this is "my" bathroom, so "She who must be obeyed" (kudos to the first person that gets that reference) was left blissfully unaware.

Hahaha. I like your wife already. 😀

I have found that all toilets are a little different. Some are shaped so the water goes up to the edge all around. These are not our friends. The ones in our house have a little slope from the front that doesn’t have water sitting there regularly which provides a nice landing spot, so I stand and then do a little plié (fancy for squat) to empty to the front of the bowl. The flush washes it all away. 

For other toilets I do the tp trick. If we were ever to do a remodel, this is now a very important criteria. 

Oh, I can relate. I have my own bathroom too. I thought it was silly for two people in a house with 2 bathrooms to share the small bathroom in our bedroom when there is a perfectly good bathroom across the hall. Plus the shower in that bathroom is way better than the other one. 

Posted by: @kiltedwolf

and proceeded to empty... In the deep end...

I had to laugh because I 100% fall in the "been-there-done-that" camp. 😂😂

I also had to forgo sitting on a toilet while my butt healed, but I've been comfortable emptying while on one knee and don't see myself changing that any time soon. 

Lol! At least you could see where the wave landed. I thought I had cleaned everything up fine when something pretty similar happened to me, but I found out otherwise when my longsuffering angel of a wife got rather curious about the state of the bathroom a bit later. Oh, and I also got splashed in the face to boot. Fun times. It's the code red of ostomate bathroom time.😂

I think a number of us will smile reading about this! 😄

I found that sitting on one cheek worked while my Barbie butt was healing. Because it took a very long time to heal, I got really good at balancing. Not putting that on my CV just yet though. And separate bathrooms is the secret to a happy marriage.

Wasn’t “She who must be obeyed “ from Rumpole of the Bailey? 

Laurie

Posted by: @tigerlily

I think a number of us will smile reading about this! 😄

 

I found that sitting on one cheek worked while my Barbie butt was healing. Because it took a very long time to heal, I got really good at balancing. Not putting that on my CV just yet though. And separate bathrooms is the secret to a happy marriage.

Wasn’t “She who must be obeyed “ from Rumpole of the Bailey? 

Laurie

Well done Tigerlily! The title is also referred to by Hercule Poirot for his wife; it's origins are from a 19th century book She.

Posted by: @kiltedwolf

Well done Tigerlily! The title is also referred to by Hercule Poirot for his wife; it's origins are from a 19th century book She.

I have read several Agatha Christie books and never clued in (haha, pun intended) that Hercules Poirot was married. Guess what just jumped up to the top of my “what should I read next” list?  I tend to prefer Miss Marple but I have several books starring each of them. 

Posted by: @squeakyandliza

Posted by: @kiltedwolf

Well done Tigerlily! The title is also referred to by Hercule Poirot for his wife; it's origins are from a 19th century book She.

I have read several Agatha Christie books and never clued in (haha, pun intended) that Hercules Poirot was married. Guess what just jumped up to the top of my “what should I read next” list?  I tend to prefer Miss Marple but I have several books starring each of them. 

I do believe I am in error, and that Poirot, who was never married but had a "love interest" did not in fact refer to her in that manner. I may be mixing up one of the movies and not the books. Blame me for too many books and movies, and too many drugs (high dose Prednisone for two years) that may/must have addled my brain...

TigerLilly is definitely correct that it was Horace Rumple. Now to reread She...

Returning you now to your regularly scheduled program... LOL

@kiltedwolf

Like you, I have discovered to aim my bag in the deepest part of the bowl. I do "kneel before the throne, however. Thanks to yoga, this old girl is able to still rise from her knees without any trouble!

Stella

@kiltedwolf I thought it would have been out of character for Poirot, but then, I am not familiar with everything he said. I will still pick you to be on my trivia team.👍

Laurie

@tigerlily

I love trivia!!  Wouldn’t it be fun to have a virtual trivia team? 😀

Okay, add this one to the list of not-to-dos.  

I am fully aware that this will sound completely gross, but for the sake of the betterment of my fellow ostomates, I've learned by experience that no matter which position you assume while you empty the bag, it is ALWAYS a good idea to keep your mouth closed while doing so.  The thing about toilet tsunamis - they don't care about your dignity.    

Embarrassingly yours,

Glenn

And the award for the most embarrassing confession on Vegan Ostomy goes to....... Its Glenn.giroir. Sadly Glenn can’t be with us tonight as he’s at home hiding behind the sofa😂 

if It makes any one feel any better, I use a hairdryer to blow dry my skin and warm up my wafer! Been doing it for years no problem! A while back i was doin my thing and the wee fella moved and the output was directed by the hairdryer toward the wall!!! I have never admitted it happened until now. There should be a saying about things like that. Ahem!! 😂

@glenn-giroir

Oh Glenn, I am so sorry for how hard I am laughing right now. 🤣 I will definitely heed your warning and learn from your mistake, rather than making it myself. 

@john68

John, I hadn’t even stopped laughing at Glenn’s comment yet when I read yours. You guys both have me in such a happy mood now, knowing other people do silly things.

Just the other day, I went into the bathroom half asleep in the middle of the night to empty my bag. I unvelcroed it and was unrolling the tail to empty and it slipped out of my hand. Well, gravity took over and I was instantly wide awake and cussing like a sailor. 😂😂 Luckily most of it missed me and hit the front of the toilet and floor. What a mess!!  Funny thing, in the morning, my husband smelled the bleach wipes I had used and asked me if I was cleaning the bathroom in the middle of the night, with a chuckle. For the record, I would NEVER do that. 🤣 

Posted by: @john68

I have never admitted it happened until now. There should be a saying about things like that. Ahem!! 😂

What happens on Vegan Ostomy stays on Vegan Ostomy.  That's what I say.  😆

@veganostomy

The one-knee is my go-to also.  

Posted by: @kiltedwolf

Hercule Poirot

My wife and I used to watch the Poirot TV show religiously when it was still on the air. We even named our first Iguana after him!

Posted by: @john68

A while back i was doin my thing and the wee fella moved and the output was directed by the hairdryer toward the wall!!!

Oh man, I now have a new fear of hairdryers. 😂

Too funny you all!! ...I made the mistake of reading this earlier & am still having a good old fashioned chuckle compliments of our VO Comedians!! 

Over a year ago,  I  felt embarrassed admitting here about my experience  with an open pouch & anemia. It happened during a "snap", one of my frequent sudden naps I was experiencing several times a day.  I was up to empty my bag & unknowingly experienced a snap. I jumped awake with a big loose mess all over me, my clothes, part of the wall, floor & ofcourse throne. I was no queen at that moment & talk about splashing! lol. Examining the mess I saw one sadly cornered Romeo (my dog) obviously disgusted  looking at me very judgmentally. He was no longer laying down but sitting as far back as he could go in a corner of my bathroom.  He had that "Lucy you've got some splainin' to do" look on his face!  He got up & bravely but  gingerly started to make his way out of the bathroom managing to avoid the mess that was everywhere!!!  Once out, he sat back in the bedroom just far back enough to still pass further judgment keeping that look  on his  face!!  I spent a fair deal of time cleaning up my big mess while he watched me the whole time!  I suppose it was to make sure I did a good job.  Once done, he bravely went back in to see if it passed the sniff test.  Before anyone asks, yes, I made a point to check him over & be sure that at least he had made a clean escape.  I'll admit I was impressed with how the old boy managed to get out of there unscathed. 

I would have entirely gotten away without admitting this little "faux pas" to my son but it turned out this was the one time he heard the laundry machines running in the middle of the night!  With a new baby in the house, he wanted to know what in the world could not have waited till morning!!!  Knowing full well I  owed him an apology & explanation I confessed what had gone on.  Leaving me red faced, he just walked away laughing & shaking his head.