With my urostomy when I go to a public bathroom to empty, I'm done in a flash. I'm almost 60, older men at the urinal more than once have said "you must have a healthy prostate". I'm not comfortable telling them ( never been a bathroom conversationalist anyway) but no badder or prostate here, just open the bottom and I'm done. Guess I really don't need a zipper! :roll: 

@grw

Good to see the positives.  I laugh to myself that, as a man, I never have to sit on the toilet again if I don't want to.  I normally empty my bag kneeling, so no need to sit and no need to pull down the pants ever.  Look for the positives.  

BTW, I usually bring a small bottle of water into the bathroom with me.  After I empty the bag, I fill it with water from the bottle, close the bag, slosh the water around, and then empty the bag again.  When I do this, it sounds a lot like someone being sick.  I often wonder what people think when I come out of the stall - me kneeling and making those noises.  😆    

Hi Glenn,

That would be weird to never have to sit on a toilet again. If they hadn’t removed your rectum and sewed you up, you would probably get that familiar feeling now and then if there was some mucous, which happens sometimes. At least to me. 

We girls still get to sit. Sometimes I will take my phone with me, out of habit and just start browsing. If my husband walks by, he will give me a confused “what are you just sitting there for” look. Lol. But it was always my Facebook time, and that’s a hard habit to break. 🤣

Oh my gosh!! I  needed a good laugh you all!!! Thank you very much. Glen, if your kneeling at home,  you could  use a gardening pad to protect your knees.

Yes, my own bathroom time 🚽and a lot of TP 🧻 use has become so much shorter since my ostomy too.

After my hubby died, I missed the stack of short story books, 📚 Readers Digest, and puzzle books and can of air 🥀freshener that used to hang around in that room too. What I do not miss are my legs falling dead weight 😴asleep, the nauseating eruptions 🌋 and that horrid ring of fire 🔥!!!  Lol! 🤣

Linda 😁

Oh, I also now have the song Phantom of the Opera stuck in my head, only I am hearing it as Phantom of the Bathroom. 🤣

Thanks, Glenn. 😳 

🤣🤣

That's hilarious 😂😂 Doing that 9 weeks out isn't bad... doing it a few years out and I'd be concerned 😂😂

Glenn

Thought I jump right in here. I also get on my knees to empty out. It sort of gives new meaning to kneeling before the throne!🚽

I still get phantom feelings down in the old rear end before my stoma gets active - so you may experience that for a while. It's nothing to get concerned about.

Stella

@sjlovestosing

Hi Stella.  Thanks!  Yes, I'm pretty active in the mornings, and I normally feel like I have to go every morning.  It's not painful or unpleasant.  It's just the old gotta go feeling down low.  I just have to remind myself that I don't need to do anything, which is pretty cool.  In days of colon and UC flares, my mornings were horrendous.  Not the case anymore!  

Glenn

Glenn, if you still have  your rectum, as I do, that feeling may not be a ghost! You will have mucous that is wanting to expell. Go, sit and push a little. Have you ever seen the Squatty Potty video? Knees higher than the rectum on a stool in front of you, helps to rid of the mucous. I really think they need a better word for mucous! Lol! 

@dlkfiretruck

Hi Linda:  

It's a goner.  Nothing down there.  Thanks, though.  When I was in the hospital, my surgeon told me that I may have gas from my stoma.  The next day he came in to check on me, and asked if I had anything to report.  I said that I had been belching a lot, but no gas from down below.  I was talking about the stoma, but he just about fell over because he thought that I was talking about way down south.  He looked at me and said, I thought you understood that we removed everything from down there, and that you will never pass anything down there again.  I told him I meant the stoma, and a look of relief came over his face.  He was sure that I thought I could still pass things down there and he would have to give me the "bad" news.  So, just for fun, the next day when he came to visit, I asked him when we would be able to reconnect things and get rid of the stoma.  He just about hit the floor.  Gotta have fun when stuck in that hospital room.  He had a great sense of humor, so all was good.

Take care,

Glenn

@dlkfiretruck

Yes.  NO ring of fire!  Just say no. 😄

Posted by: @squeakyandliza

Hi Glenn,

That would be weird to never have to sit on a toilet again. If they hadn’t removed your rectum and sewed you up, you would probably get that familiar feeling now and then if there was some mucous, which happens sometimes. At least to me. 

We girls still get to sit. Sometimes I will take my phone with me, out of habit and just start browsing. If my husband walks by, he will give me a confused “what are you just sitting there for” look. Lol. But it was always my Facebook time, and that’s a hard habit to break. 🤣

I don't miss it.  It's funny, because I thought I would.  I do understand what you mean though.  I had spent so much time in the bathroom over the past 25 years that I still want to just go in there sometimes to think and read.  Funny.  😆

Too funny you  all! We referred to the bathroom as the reading room! All four of us were readers but when we found a rental with two bathrooms, because of my frequent and lengthy stays, one was mine and the rest shared  the other one!  No more chasing someone from their -paper work!😁

I think most of us keep our sense of humour intact, or at least give it a good try!

My laughter moment in hospital was when  the doctor had prescribed a suppository.  It was  one used for my bladder spasms and, I had used it for many years.  When the student nurse brought in the supp. all armed with gloves and lubricant, I cringed!  After a few min. and telling her of my geriatric  nursing back ground,  I had managed to talk her into letting me "apply" it myself.  About  half an hour  later, she checked on me to make sure I had used it. Seven months in hospital can drive you to cause a kerfullful at least once! lol!                    I could not resist, and with enthusiasm I  said "oh, yes, for sure! They go down really easy with good warm glass of  water!" Well,  between  the look of shock and regret on her face, and the speed with which she flew from the room, the joke was  was priceless!!!  I had no chance of telling her, I was kidding until she showed up with the surgeon, the GI doctor and the head nurse!!! That Poor young  nurse looked devastated. Thru my own hardly choked back laughter, and that of my three room mates, I apologized profusely to her and the others telling them I knew exactly where a suppository goes and that I could guarentee it was rightly delivered there too!  I also asked them not to be too hard on her as it really was not her fault. Ofcourse, I knew darn well that the last thing a nurse should do is to  leave a patient with unswallowed or uninserted medications. But having someone else do the deed that day, well, it was too mutch for me to handle. You see,  that particular day had started off bad to begin with. I was awoken by 5:30 a.m. and was told I was not to get out of bed or even move if I  could manage it, and  I was told I had a traveling blood clot and I would be  was going to surgery within 15 minutes!!! Then as quickly as the nurse bearing the news came, she left! I had been side swiped by that news!  I  slowly reached for  my bedside  phone, called my Mom and Dad and said start praying right now.  About ten min. latter  a different student nurse came back in the room.  I asked how they new I had this blood  clot?  I had figured it would not show on the blood work  two days prior, and I wanted an explanation. I told her  I  would not be  going anywhere  without it. As she realized what I was saying, she too left the room very quickly. After about seven min. the  head nurse,  a doctor and the student came for a visit.  They questioned the spelling of my last name and why I was in hospital and who my doctors were.  I was told they would be back and I was not to let anyone take me anywhere, I was not to even go to the washroom yet! An hour later when they did rejoin me, I was told there were four other patients with the last name as mine, all spelled differently on the same floor.  Tho I remained on that floor, the others were all shuffled to other floors!  

The apology I recieved was equal to the one I had given,   trying to get that  young nurse off of her sure to be stern talking too.  What I failed to mention above earlier, was when the, doctors and nurses left my room, the laughter from them in the hallway was what made my little joke so worth while! The other thing is, I do have a blood clotting disorder called anti-phospho-lipid antibodies. I can throw clots at any given time, so my blood busters are vital to my day.  

Linda