@tigerlily Laurie,

Thank you so much for the encouragement! I sure hope things can be corrected! I don’t know if I can take any more problems. Every time something was going to fix my problems, it didn’t or even worse yet, new problems came to light. 

@john68

Thanks for the good wishes. I’m can’t even imagine what life would be like with a problem-free stoma. I feel like I’m setting myself up for another heart-breaking disappointment if I think about it too much. 

Liza...my goodness! I'm catching up here due to overly cranky eyes. So sorry its taken so long!! I have read bits here & there & kept you in my prayers all along & will continue to do so.  

First, I agree with the others, you go right ahead & have as many meltdowns you need when & where ever you need to have one! I'll even pass you my crown!! I'm so glad your moving forward into hopefully a more promising situation.

Please make sure & ask specifically from the surgeon and with all due respect, have them draw for you what your stoma will look like when it's all said and done. I'm not sure why some think a flush stoma is acceptable, it just seems wrong in so many ways & those I've read with them do certainly struggle!! You are allowed to ask & even request a better stoma then this. If they don't understand then maybe moving on is required. 

Second, You have the right to have as many 2nd opinions as you need & procedures/surgery if it'll make your  "quality of life" much better then what your living with now.  Do not ever feel one iota of guilt or shame for trying to improve your "quality of life!"  Most Certainly do not feel bad for doing so with another  Doctor/Surgeon.  Please tell them if you haven't that your "Quality of Life " Sucks regarding your stoma. "Quality of Life" is something they learn about in medical school.  Tell them how fed up you are & have that meltdown in front of them. It certainty doesn't hurt them to see the human aspect in all of this right down to the human cost of lack of sleep & pain & exhaustion, work life in or out of home!  Sometimes they do forget & need reminders. Yes they may do late night surgeries but I'm sure they don't go to bed dreading the next leak & laundry & planning & even clean up time that can take. 

Liza, You are so incredibly tough & to be working on top of this, ugh!! Tough  even with melt downs.  Heaven knows we must certainly all of had our own melt downs in one way or another. I had my share and then repeated ones thru the years and then again the day I found you all here at VO!!! 

Just knowing I wasn't alone & believe me I sure felt alone especially without my hubby barely five months in with my stoma!! I felt beyond alone & abandoned.  But cancer...ugh!  Like you, I made my way through all the loops & craziness & tears. If it wasn't for my dogs keeping me somewhat grounded  hehe & out for walks & caring for their needs I think I may well have crawled in a self dug hole, with my bare hands & simply stayed there & honestly right beside Hubby would have been just fine by me & Liza I had a relatively cooperative stoma, nothing like what your dealing with! 

You have your hubby & he is a real blessing & its so great he can be going into appointments armed with questions & getting answers! This alone is a big part of survival & honestly, you are surviving it all even if it doesn't feel like it Liza! You are doing incredibly well my friend, maybe you should write a book by the time your done it all !! 

I truly hope & pray that as you move forward once again, even if its baby steps, that issues resolve & you feel more in control of your life than your experiencing now. God Bless you for continuing on here so strongly! Stay tough & as said above you can cry on our shoulders any time you need! 

@dlkfiretruck 

Linda,

Thank you so much for your kind words. Especially knowing how hard typing that long a response was, with your eyes giving you so much trouble.  ❤️

I try so hard to stay strong, but things are really taking a toll on me now. I appreciate the kindness and support you guys here are showing me.  All the rest of the pack is watching over this pup. 🤣🐶

@squeakyandliza lolol...I'm so glad you weren't offended by that Puppy comment! I do really hope that this surgery is a huge beginning to the end of all this output your putting up with.

I thought of you several times this past week.  I have had 2  leaks 3 days apart on the 3rd day of each pouch. Both requiring a fair deal of clean up.  I don't even have the right to think about complaining compared to your struggles Liza!

I think what really upset me was where the leaks came from.  While I was sleeping they were both right through the charcoal filter of the Hollister 8331 pouch. Both on day 3.   I guess I need to make a phone call to Hollister because already this morning  the little white patch over the filter is showing warning signs of a leak. 

Liza,  the thing is I can put my finger on the cause & you can't do that.  I'm certainly wishing, hoping and praying that this surgery sets you on the road to a much more content & happier Ostomy experience!!

Well darn. I was totally ready for surgery Friday and the surgeon had a family emergency and will be out at least a week. So I am rescheduled to January 7th. Which means I have to do a new pre-op appt, another Covid test and another pre-registration appt at the hospital. Probably the only thing I won’t have to do again is the EKG. Maybe the labs??  

I mean, I understand, and I’m so glad it isn’t me with the family emergency, but it is still frustrating. 

Lisa, you're always in my mind. Yes, as Linda said, you're going through so much much more than us. And you're so strong and have thoughts for others.

I will extend my prayers for you (a dear sister) to January. I still sure that you will have a very very great 2022.

@squeakyandliza Hi Liza,  I've been catching up on what you have been dealing with and all I can say is, holy cow, you are really due for a bit of good luck!  I'm so sorry to hear about all you have been going through.  I really hope things are about to get better for you.  I can relate to some of your ordeal, particularly with the cancelled surgery.  I've had my share of challenges in the past two years as well, and I've had four surgeries during that time.  My last one was the final one, thankfully, but it was cancelled three times before I finally had it.  The worst one was when I had already been admitted, been in pre-op for three hours, had my IV inserted, and they had even started to run antibiotics into me.  I was literally wheeled up to the door of the OR, when the surgeon came out and announced that it had to be cancelled due to an emergency as they needed the OR.  I had to wait another month or so and go through all the pre-op stuff again, Covid testing, etc.  But I finally had it done, about two months ago now, and it's all good.  I believe you will get there too and you will get your brand new stoma and it will improve your life immensely.  Hang in there Liza.  I'll bet you are already realizing that you are stronger than you thought you were.  I'll be thinking of you on Jan. 7th.

All the best,

Terry

@squeakyandliza Oh no! How frustrating for you! I guess the silver lining is that recovering from surgery won’t interrupt Christmas for you. Sometimes you have to look hard for the silver lining. Liza, your strength is being tested for sure, but the flip side of that is you will never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have. You are strong enough to handle this setback; we are all in awe of your attitude through all of this. Terry is right - you will get there, and your life will be so much better. In the meantime, feel the strength of all of us wishing you a lovely holiday and a speedy recovery from your surgery in January. Hey I just thought of another positive - your surgical team will be rested and in a much better frame of mind after the holidays than before. 😃  

Laurie 

Stella, Terry, and Laurie,

Thank you all so much for your kind comments. I honestly do feel the support from this group and it does help me maintain strength through this all. 

I do have mixed feelings. I was geared up to get this done and I had done Covid test and pre-registration, and I had met my insurance out of pocket maximum for the year, so there wasn’t going to be a cost to me for the surgery. But it will be nice to not be recovering during the holidays. And I was planning on going back to work Monday so I wouldn’t miss time at my new job, but in a month, I may feel more comfortable taking a day off if I’m still really sore that Monday.  Plus I am sympathetic to the surgeon. My dad was diagnosed with brain cancer two years ago, just after Christmas, and due to my health problems I didn’t get to spend as much time with him as I would have liked before he passed away just over 2 months later.

Mostly I’m disappointed, but trying to see the positive. 

@squeakyandliza

Hi Liza,

It's been a while since I've been on board. I always believe that there is a good reason for a change of plans, though it may be disappointing at the time. I guess I also believe that these times are teaching moments rather than tests. I know that I have been taught many good things during my times of challenges. You do have an excellent attitude through all this, though it has been very tough on you. You truly are an inspiration to all of us. 

God bless,

Stella

Oh, Liza, that is disappointing and aggravating - life is like a pinball game, isn’t it? During this time of year there are lovely things to see or hear and think about - the holidays, the pretty music and sights, and knowing that you will feel so much better after your surgery, delayed though it be.  🎄☃️❄️🎼

@squeakyandliza  ... our Dear, Dear Liza!!!  I read this what seems like long ago but stupid eye Inflamation gets in the way of responding when I want to. 

So  Yet,  another trial for you to contend with !!! My goodness, will it ever end & just let you have a normal ostomy life!! Lol, whatever normal is anymore, I'm not sure I even know!  

Liza my friend, knowing your stamina you won't have to dig too deeply to find the extra strength & continued courage YOU need & show under your repeated fires to get through this next battle as well.  I'm sure you  will continue to get through the challenges you continue to face because you are a very strong person! Like Stella, I too believe everything happens for a reason & for all we know there may well be another ostomate/s quietly reading in & learning from you how to cope with the repeated battles you face, IF it Is even possible to cope with,  but because of your courage & the true grit you repeatedly show all the time, they will know coping is very possible!!!! I am one learning from you. Thank you for your openess & for sharing.  Having COPING & COURAGE  does not mean we can't have a good old  fashioned mini pity party & or a tearful sessions when required. These sessions allow us to shed the last battle & reach for the needed supplies for the next one.  Liza, You've got this in the bag! ( lol, pun...Hehe, ugh! .)  

Please try & Continue with your understanding for others needs & of situations you face moment by moment & you will get through this challenge also!   I hope you get to go to your Moms at Christmas & that it'll help time be at least enjoyable while you once again persevere. All the best!!! 

Linda 

Stella, LL, and Linda,

Thank you all for your encouraging responses. The 3 of you have been so kind and supportive since I first joined VO. 

I feel like I should wait to post until my surgery is over. It has been rescheduled two more times. Currently scheduled for January 21st. This time it was a combination of the surgeon not being back yet and insurance issues. Ugh.

Liza, post as you wish to post here!  This is what this group is about & I'm sure others would agree. Besides   who else understands the waiting game about these issue besides those closest to you then this group of fine Ostomates!!          

Another delay!  My, what fun your having!  I'll admit Im a little concerned you may go into some sort of happy shock  if this actually all comes together for you & more so if the issues can be completely fixed up! 

You just do what you need to do to get through the delays &  we'll be here for you as we can be. Hang in there & you'll get through this & keep being the strong we know you to be!  

Well today’s the day. A short five and a half months after I started getting blood in my bag, I am going for surgery this morning. I’m a little nervous, and I have no idea if it will be successful, but I remain hopeful. I had a little pep talk with Squeaky last night. He’s nervous too. 

Eric, I used your suggestions about the alcohol and the TP tube and my current appliance has been on since Thursday night. I didn’t have rubbing alcohol, so I used Vodka. Is that okay? 😉  Actually I had some alcohol swab things from when I first got out of the hospital in 2018 and had IV antibiotics at home. 😊

Well, time to go. See ya’ll on the other side.  🤞💕

Hi Liza, Very best wishes for a successful outcome 👍

@squeakyandliza At last! Sending all best thoughts and wishes, Liza.

Posted by: @squeakyandliza

Eric, I used your suggestions about the alcohol and the TP tube and my current appliance has been on since Thursday night. I didn’t have rubbing alcohol, so I used Vodka. Is that okay? 😉

Good luck! And I'm glad that trick helped - even with vodka! 😂

@squeakyandliza 

You are both in my prayers! I hope it all went well for you. Looking forward to seeing you back on the forum soon.❤️

Lisa, 

Praying for you. You must have been out from surgery. Take good rest and fully recover very soon with great future days.