What did your lawyer say?

Posted by: Tony H

Hey John I came to acceptance fairly quickly 

Quickly is the best way in my opinion. 

Acceptance allows you to move forward with your "new normal". 

I've always said that you don't have to like what's happened, but you should accept it. 

I went to a few.. as I was so mad and angry!!!!!!! $15,000 plus up front payment.. I was told that I was labeled for payment for insurance payment.. and I was-- from that experance.  Every time I go now, to the any hospital etc.  I hear that label.. !! horrible..

When I told my story well to u just a bit: They had street girls in for staff and patients. Woman were beaten up.. thrown into my door, I was, as I said far from the others..  (fever-alone) As I was not allowed to exit my room I was able to stand in my door way--saw way to much I was scared for myself being--I was threatened of them holding me down for injections if I did not take their controling meds.. that did not happen-but scared anyways. May have been on report..  They can write down anything to cover their butts. Which is or could be a problem if I continued this law suit. Another fight (I did tell many of my Doctors and they told me not to get involved, and to keep quiet) See, they know what goes on in those places.. !!  I am just giving you a slight version-I could go on.. Being so weak and depressed and my husband not wanting to go forward.. and he has the control of that kind  of money--I just could not take the stress even tho lawyers said I could get a cool million........ what is money?? Cant take away my abuse within my mind.. NO!! I determined to make aware of what goes on inside and not to have anyone like myself or anyone to be treated in this manner.. But I was sick!! I asked for an M.D. nothing-- but for all I know they could have written that they sent for one and he/she came. (?) They can write anything on your chart.. The  Med staff is not your best friend.. Watch what u say--So, I made many calls to the vice president and he was worried about me as he put it "I see a law suit coming" Told him, I want to see reports of what your going to do about this? Still at it.. All I can see at that time and now, it would be a many of years of paper work, and re-hashing of many events and proving my word against them.. I am not a person to sue.. But in some way, I will have my so called day in court..  Look at all the sex harasments going on now?  When it comes into this area?  I am in  it for the long haul!! My word is honest!! Nothing sexual happened to me, but was afraid that I would get attacked.. This one guy was  in for drug abuse.. that I could tell- long term----- He would beat up his live in girl-(was across from my room far from the regular rooms) Then he would go off angry and come back in an hour or two, and do push up for the nurses.. and they all around him.. loving his performance... Laughing. This is so wrong.. I could see the change in him-he is in for help- and this?? They let him go out side any time he wanted. He was the one I was scared of..  He helped out inside moping floors.. this is wrong also- there are much drugs of easy access to him.. He ruled that place.  Very strange huh?  I would say I was NOT on their drugs and they could say that I was. Just write it down on my chart.. What are you going to do? Horrible things going on out there my friends.. Trust me!! **** and I was told by Doctors to hush******* that's when I knew fighting a law suit would proberly put me in a nut house!!!  :-) My day welcome.. Trust me!!! 

Wow.  My jaw dropped open,  reading what you wrote. 

It would seem that you are powerless. 

You are not! 

The first thing for you to do is TO WRITE DOWN EVERYTHING.  If you can recall names and dates,  great. 

You know how to communicate your thoughts and feelings. Put it down on paper.or create a computer file .

What to do with it depends on several factors. Even if you do nothing with it, it is a cathartic experience.  Getting it off your chest is healing.

If the Attorney General  OR the federal government will listen to you is dependent on them. If a book publishing house would publish either as fiction or nonfiction is also a thought.

This is a start.

Let us know if you want to fold up or open up.

POOP ON THEM!

It will be 4 years come this April....... I am told that I had to hurry with this--  I will not sue, that will not get me anywhere.. Don't want dirty money to shut me up and that is what will happen-as it has been offered to me..$1,000--big deal-- as long as I sign papers.. So, u see? they are guilty!!  You all read of what goes on at times with some harder areas of this  commended so called care......... What u see /hear/read is so bad, u wonder what the heck went on before the state was called in.. And that my dear, took many family complains. I worked in health field, and state always came in--not in those places.. We always got surprise visits,. Not in that area.. Many paper works etc. to be done--and even with cameras, they are not on a kept watch daily weekly or yearly-- Some of these areas do house server mental patients, and they are abused.  They are laughed at.. But they are left by families that can't attend to them.. and there for not visited.. Got something going the past past year now with this of a home.. Nothing has been done, but as  of last week 6 people have been fired after a year of court events.. yes, they kept these workers on this long..  Even tho the state knew....... got to prove..

Trust me it is all in my mind----what I hate most is the Doctors that told me to keep hush and not get involved.. I truly feel that I as their patient, will be confronted.. They don't want that.. 

This is an area that must go forward with intelligence and well minded of a lay-person such as I, I was NOT medicated So I had/have my full mind.. But my day will come-- Your right, I should find my writings, get my dates..etc.. and give a call and see where they are at as they told me that they are looking into it.. ya right------ looking into it.. Just to bug them.. CALL.. Maybe even make a personal visit.. NOT THE PHIC WARD THO-- got bars on.. :-) THey could say that I threatened them etc.  In such as this, you have to watch your step-voice-anger-gonna be hard for me, but if and when I do go in person.. I have to be direct and not talk much at all-(you all know how long winded I am)  But keep my eyes straight-non emotional-waiting for the answer that I WANT!! and sit there until I am pleased.. and I will never be pleased.. 

So mind you all- watch your back-- like if you have a glass of wine a night? they will times that by 4 or 6.. your an AA meeting personal to happen in their book.. IF you run say you walk.. IF u go outside ? say your inside.. Do not give them any information that u think will damage you-- be honest.. but avoid some issues that they like to step out of  the situation.. Keep them on track.. Don't stray!!! But be honest. 

Yes, I went to a shrink a few years ago-I was not getting better with my anger of this and not getting better adjusting with my new life/Nellie--HE told me to keep out of it!! Shut up!!! Well, I got my anti-depressants I see him every 7 months.. Doing great along with your help --I am back to being ME!! AND I can stand on my own two feet- They should support me after all they are a perfect 10. :-)---------  But when I do go for a meeting.. hopefully this late spring. Nellie better behave herself!! If I  have to go to the bathroom-they may lock me out-- or have a surprise meeting and "HE" left for the day or, come back later type of thing. 

I only told you some of the stuff......... So hopefully yo understand when I came home- between this and my new Nellie- I was very angry - look at how sick I was 3 week piror to my 2 month comma that they helped me into!! Even my death---- I can accept Nellie but not what they did to me and how they made me sicker..........  That is unforgivable..  And they will pay dearly--Trust me, I tell every chance I get!! Every Dr, I see...... And don't think that every time I see my surgeon  and staff it does not go un-spoken.. "If your ER hospital didn't bla blab" Well, it was it was not a "was"  for me- Soooooo I go to the lounge!! :-) THe great escape.. 

What is a fold up of open up? 

I wanted a stoma for around  a  year. I just knew it was time .  . After 18 yrs with Crohns it finally required surgery . I treated it naturally all those years so I think I had a good run all things considered. I was so giddy and excited waiting at the hospital the staff thought I was nuts . I adapted quickly because I had done so much reading and video watching educating myself I was not scared . The only thing I can honestly say saddens me about having a stoma is that I will no longer be able to practice weight lifting . That was my high . I never looked manly just super fit . So a part of me is gone . My surgeon said I risk getting a hernia and I am not looking to any more surgery if I can help it .  I know there are people with stomas  that lift but I am doing so well I don't want to take that risk . 

As my neighbor says " As long as you're above ground you're doing great " 

be well my friends, Bubbles 

Posted by: Bubbles

I adapted quickly because I had done so much reading and video watching educating myself I was not scared .

This is an important thing to remember for anyone who has a planned surgery. It really helped me too. 

The only thing I can honestly say saddens me about having a stoma is that I will no longer be able to practice weight lifting . 

While there is a risk of developing a hernia, it's still a possibility, even if not at the level you've been at before. 

There are quite a few competitive lifters who have stomas all over Instagram. If you' llike specific accounts, let me know and I'll post them in another thread. 

Hi Bubbles, The Brief account of your Ostomy is one which will inspire any one on here looking for help both post op and after. Its a real shame to have to give up some thing which give you so much pleasure. but as Eric says it could still be done just a little easier. My job requires lifting and its all how you go about it. am sure lifting weights you will know the does and don,ts. check out a Company called Comfizz they will have belts supports that may be useful.

When my doctor did my surgery he said he found a hernia in me already so that has me worried about getting another . I will definitely lift 10-15 pounds weights for sure just to help my bones but I won't be sqauting my body weight anymore. I am 55 need to keep my bones healthy .

I have always been of the option that their are two ages in life that make the biggest changes 25 and 50. I will hit the later next year and am really trying both for my ostomy and me to do a better job of staying healthy. Stopping smoking was a big deal for me but made it and really feel the difference.

Have you considered milk??? 

**I accepted Nellie" faster than I thought-IT took a good year. As I had  other areas and other issues to take care of and that was number ONE on my list.. But As of this blog I found that I really wasn't in full acceptance, But with Eric and everyone's help-I found my way..  You think u have a hold on something, and then realize you have a family out there --you all-- :-) helped a lot-Now I feel like I am someone and not a freak as I have been treated and saddened by non-ostomates.. But more to learn.. and I have that at my finger tips.. Thanks guys! kiss's.......... m.

Whats in the past is gone can,t be changed and no point looking back all that does is mess with yer head and plus it hurts yer neck. The future we have more control on.

True, that anger is gone.. Just got confused with my other angers..  Like I said, one management of things at a time.. Nellie took top piroraty.. This is NOT the golden years that I expected. But if I can get rid of the dehydration...???? That will be wonderful-if not?  Then I will find another way around that.. There is always a way--and the hunt is on!!!

For my excerise, I clean the house, witch includes much walking and streaching,-laundry, that is lifting not real heavy---But I have to see progress -- Sitting at a gym, doesn't appeal to me at all-you sit at a bike going no where-you sit or lay on equipment's  in hope that the germs are removed.. and still going no where.. Time/money wasted to me..  I feel that I am getting 2 for 1 over here.. :-)  And it is good for my stoma area-keeping the blood going, heart pumping,  If I need time out? I have a nice tall drink of juice and relax.. 

We cant do what we did before the stoma arrived.. But this I can handle with grace and it is cheep!! When I first came home-We paied a house keeper $30.00/per/hour!!! pluse tax!!  for 2 years, until I was able to handle this job..  Humm  I have a O.K. paying job huh?  I cook, play Santa (Robert) take care of the cats needs. Talk about add on's huh?  But Nellie is in charge of my limits... So, Nellie and I are busy and keeping fit--in our own way--(wish she could polish the silver :-)  )))   For some to get what they want in body strength, will just take longer to achieve is all------------- 

I am really glad to hear all your experiences don't take that wrong I'm not glad to hear that you all went through so much and in so many different ways or that you all suffered so much . Or that you had gotten your stoma friend at such an early time in life . I only went about 6 years before my first surgery which was to remove my colon . Kinda like some of you it was really my own fault it took that long to get something done . But that is nothing compared to what some of you went through . Then was stubborn again and didn't do the second surgery as soon as I should have either . Thanks to my wife (Norma) pushing me and pushing me I finally agreed to see my surgeon thats when he said its time . Was 2 years between surgeries and now 3 years since the first one and about 15 months since I received Norman  . I really put off the last surgery to get my Norman in my mind  I didn't want that at all but after seeing some things happening to my brother around that time it also helped change my mind . I will be honest it has taken me some time to get things straight in my head and accept things as they are now . I do still have a little problem going some places but I have gotten much better and I know it will get better in time because I actually want it to . I feel like compared to you all's experiences I haven't been thru much at all !

Now to anybody who is thinking about having the surgery and is apprehensive about doing it . Just do it ! It really is a start to a better life . It has made my life better than it was no doubt I can admit that now. We all will adjust in our own way and time .  

Now John like Ann said I appreciate the humor from you and Tony . But there is still more of the Irish terms I have to learn keep em coming Lad ! Lol

You talking to me Robert???:-)

I feel that I lucked out as I did not suffer like you and the rest.. One surgery was it for me.. Surprise? yes!! Sick? yes!! But I didn't know it--  really--just that I look back now and I had some loose long sitting on the potty-- on and off.  And I became aware of every time I went into a store? ********* I mentally searched the bathrooms locations.. THAT IS A RED FLAG FOLKS !!!!!!! ********but it did not stick to my mind.. Thought well, Marcie, your ageing, got to change your eating habits. WRONG !!!!!!!!!! Go see your Dr. 

Then again, I may have reacted like the rest of a few here. And drag my feet..  But I got what I got-----And happy that I have a new family!! You all!!!!!!!! kiss's  :- + ........

Awk Robert wot a bout ye big lad !! No one,s suffering was any less. pain and illness is some thing we have to go through but coping is the real test. yer doin really well and every day we can all improve and learn. I remember changing my first pouch I looked at the stoma and wondered where does the poo come out! That was a question I got answered very quickly lol. but that was how wet behind the ears I was. Each day is a new one and another chance to do better. Our Colons may have been banjaxed but no point getting scundered about it!

Very true John, We all suffered. Some took it better than others.......  I am talking about the years of pain etc. that I didn't have.. Or thought I didn't.. ITs the after-------

I think Barb. and Robert are doing very well for such a short amount of time.. Better than I did that's for sure!! I was bedded down for a good year.. That's over.... Going to be 4 years come this August.. And more improvements to show for it too !!!!!! Hopefully my dehydration will lessen a bit-and gain some weight--OH!!!!!!! talked with the diet Dr. Said that she will put weight on me!!! Got an Appt. Jan 10th.. :-))))  Shall see huh ?? 

FOLD UP 

My parents survived the Concentration Camps.  For years,  I couldn't understand their behavior and the way that I was raised. I recall my father waking up screaming.  I recall my mother's broken nose and cross eyes that she got from a punch in the face.

They were enslaved and brutalized. 

They folded up inside themselves.  They never spoke to me as a youth about their experiences. They kept it inside.

OPEN UP- When I was 37 , my father took me and my 2 brothers to Poland. He began to show us some of his and mom's experiences . We bonded. 

He eventually recorded a video where he related his experiences from 1939 till the train station at Aushwitz. "From that moment on, I was not responsible for my behavior . I had to survive."

Our family became close when they opened up.

What I am trying to say is that even if you write a novel about your experiences  , you will benefit.

As always, I feel someone else has/had it worse than me,, This is how I think/feel.

But your father and mother-?? Cant go there-- I am folded up here-- I feel for you as u suffered their suffering.. But u came of it very well.

I must add, that your father-He took his time and when that time was right? He took you all (maybe for his support) but that dear man had to re-live his horrible life. His closure.. But I don't think a closure is ever felt in full with what these wonderful people were forced into-For them it was step, their step,  I am so sorry-- 

When we were in Germany, we visited a camp there-- This has remained in perfect formation of my mind and will be until I die.  Words cannot express how I felt or feel.. Only the sadness remains within me of this horror. I knew a woman, a good friend of ours, she was a child, she snuck out of a camp via hay truck--her stories are short at times, but never I felt the whole story-and I always understood why--because of the pictures I saw in Germany-and they were the good ones !! I could read into their eyes. The lack of a future, the lack of faith- the lack of a decent burial. Cold, hurt, helplessness. This was at the end of our 2 month Europe trip and I was so thankful for this as I just couldn't smile for along time afterwards. 

You have opened up to me/us.. I pray you never fold up--You were exposed to that life in different ways my dear "Z" I think that you survied it all very well.  

I will not fold up - I am not a weak person, But will never be as strong as your father...  No one can.. May I give you a hug?????? Well, you got it anyways!!! Marcie..