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Your experience as a LGBTQ+ ostomate?  

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VickiH
(@vickih)
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August 1, 2019 1:59 pm  

I wanted to get a feel for how others are coping with being LGBTQ+ and an ostomate?  I am relatively new to my new body and in looking I found very few online support forums for LGBTQ+ ostomates.  One of my big struggles has been how my wife feels about this and does it change our relationship.  She has been great,  don’t get me wrong this is my own stuff.  She actually wanted me to have the surgery as I nearly died from crohns.  But we already struggle with prejudice especially since we do not look the part of heterosexual norms.  Now I have this bag.  I am adjusting but it’s hard.  I also am concerned now because we have been attacked in the past and I have been the protector.  I feel vulnerable  now.  Just wanted to get some feedback or perhaps even be able to have this be a place of support for others in the community also adjusting.


 


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SqueakyandLiza
(@squeakyandliza)
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August 1, 2019 2:27 pm  

Hi Vicki,

i am so sorry you have experienced prejudice in the past. It is my dream that we can get to a place where no one has to feel that way, but there is a long way to go. 

I can tell you that feeling insecure about how the ostomy will affect your relationship is not limited to the LBGTQ society. Probably most of us on here have felt that way. It sounds like your wife is very supportive and that makes all the difference. Many of us have shared how our spouses help up deal with this new lifestyle. And we have both male and female ostomates, so we get all kinds of perspectives. I have learned some very valuable information from many of the men on here. I expected to learn from the women, but I was surprised how much the men have helped as well. With what we have gone through in common, no topic is off limits here. 

So, I hope there are some LGBTQ people who can chime in to help, but the rest of us will try to be supportive the best we can. 😀  Your questions and issues probably aren't as different from ours as you might think. 


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john68
(@john68)
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Posts: 1331
August 1, 2019 2:35 pm  

Hi VickiH, This world is full of people with options which would be best kept to themselves and better if they never had Them in the first place. No one can choose who they fall in love with. Support from a partner is priceless, No one has been with out fear so ask yer questions and the very best going forward 👍

ileostomy 31st August 1994 for Crohns


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VickiH
(@vickih)
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Posts: 17
August 1, 2019 5:56 pm  

@squeakyandliza

I have received so much support from so many not even knowing their orientation so I do appreciate all the support and believe we have more in common than not.  Any prejudice of any type even of our medical situation can relate.  I do appreciate all of you and this site.


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LK
 LK
(@dlkfiretruck)
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Posts: 560
August 1, 2019 8:18 pm  

@vickihoh Vicki, my goodness, I am prejudice about one being prejudist. It is nobodies place in life to tell anyone how to live ones personal life. Your welcome here, no matter your choices. Eric had great insight when he put his dream to work here. It's about information accessibility. We are all human, we all breath, eat and poop. We all have questions that need answering. We all have ostomy challenges. WELCOME VICKI and wifey!

 

Linda


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